Why I Haven't Been Around So Much Lately

That is the single most horrible thing I've read in a very long time. And I work in a Dr's surgery.

Surely this never happened.
Please Antwan, allay my fears.

Jim has bedroom hair!

Too hot for televi-- thingsihate.org!

See how it plays in Peoria.

Yeah, crude humor like that would probably be more suited to SomethingAwful.

Well, we've probably all had some bizarre childhood experiences. One Summer, I would go to a neighbor friend's house because he had a swimming pool. Also, we were only 13 but his mom let us smoke. So, one day I went to his house like usual at noon and he was still in bed. I said, "Hey, let's get going!" But he wouldn't get out of bed. Finally, he said that he couldn't get out of bed because he'd gotten himself stuck in a Coke bottle. So, after I quit laughing, I said I'd go get a hammer to break the bottle, and he immediately got himself extracted from the Coke bottle. But see? That's probably way more than you needed to know.

That's certainly much more pleasant

My friend's sister had a combination of gifts; she had telescopic vision and a photographic memory, about 1 in 10,000,000 people have both. So, what she could do to prove it was you could hold up a page out of a newspaper across the room for maybe ten seconds and then she could recite the whole page from memory. My friend's middle name was Sebastian and it really pissed him off if you called him that.

But I don't want to call Staniel "Jim" now, I want to call him Bobo!

Where is that picture set? It looks kind of like Eugene. Well, the girl looks like she's from Eugene, anyways.

It's only 56 more hours until a new zirealism. And I WILL be here at midnight waiting for it.

Would that be Greenwitch Mean Time or Zulu?

I'm not sure if I agree with the decision to pull Antwan's perverse but sublimely satirical piece. Provocative? Yes. Incendiary? Absolutely. Protected speech? Without a doubt. He warned us--on no less than three separate occasions--that we would be in for a rude and horrible surprise if we continued reading. And yet we all did anyway. We have no one to blame but ourselves for exposing ourselves to that horrid mental image, which I myself will likely still have seared in my mind on my deathbed. But I know I'm the only one responsible. I say bring it back, and let all who come be forewarned! Test your mettle against Antwan's car wreck of a posting, and see if you too don't slow down to try to catch a glimpse of the dead bodies!

Good karma for you oscccar.

Yes I agree with Osscar on this one.
Granted, the story was feral. But who can deny it's power? It's a rare piece of writing that can make people feel physically ill.

Thinking about it rationally, screwing a rabbit is odd but it doesn't make me feel ill. But reading Antwan's story - like I said, it made me want to puke. So good work, mate!

seeing that the post about the rabbit had dissapeared made me think it was just some twisted nightmare from spending too much time online.

if only i could be so lucky...

anyway, good for you jim and/or staniel.

...Bobo!

That's what we get for making so many anal rape jokes. We can dish it out but we can't take it.

Or can we?

Just another case of The Man Editor dictating to us what we can and cannot see. I thought this was the Internet, freedom for everyone! But no way, even thingsihate sold out and buckled under the pressure of whoever.

Actually, I'm just the sour cos the process erased my staniel-love comment.

What I want to know is, does he take you to the diner?

the one on Black Horse Pike?

Get him to take you to New Geet's Diner or Little Nick's Diner, and youse guys write a review, right?

Just 11 hours and 15 more minutes to go until a brand new zirealism!

I was wondering. Was Zirealism ALWAYS this bad? Or did Posthumous simply run out of humor like so many wasted tears? I decided to find this out by searching the patented Thingsihate archives. After much time, effort, and energy, my crack team of scientists (Emphasis on the word crack) have come to the startlying conclusion that Posthumous was at one point in time funny, but the trials and tribulations of life have changed him into the mass of quivering flesh you see before you. Gone are the days of the well thought out joke. Now Posthumous gets his sick delight as hundreds of people scratch their heads in a comical fashion and mutter, "What the hell...?" under their breath. They search for any signs of comedy, fooling themselves into thinking that Zirealism still has a plot, a purpose. A smile creeps over the swollen oral organ(s?) of posthumous's face as his reader seeps into a miserable oblivion.

I myself am looking forward to the next installment of Zirealism. The next chapter in the spiraling madness that is Posthumous's inspiration. Also, we're 3 minutes closer to the next one already!

Wow, you people are idiots interesting.

What I'd like to know is are you conscientious about shaving your legs do you have any interesting writings to post?

Since her name is "Jim's mate" I feel a little Australian every time I look at it.

You do realise just how few of us Aussies actually use the term 'mate'
don't you?

Sorry for breaking the stereotype.

When I was a single-digit child, I had few friends and too many books. People seemed to think I had an accent, but couldn't place exactly what. Anyway, the fact that my sister is named Matie (prn. piratically) frequently got me mistaken for an Australian.

Every few years we in the States seem to get some incredibly annoying Australian TV personality for a while, like the Crocodile Hunter or that guy who endorsed batteries. I like to think it's because you (the Australians) have chased them off your own continent with pitchforks and torches.

I like the Crocodile Hunter. Almost as much as I like Yahoo Serious.

Part of my dislike of the Crocodile Hunter stems from the Animal Planet constantly showing one of his shows - does he have three serieses by now? It's either that or that painfully unfunny guy talking about allegedly-funny animals.

I work at a nursing home and the Animal Planet channel is the channel of choice for people who have trouble understanding things. I can't imagine anyone watching it on purpose; I think the programmers have dumbed the content down to a revolting level specifically for the thinking impared.

Mr. Biscuit- is this because I look like a hippie and/or a German?

my leg hair is light so I don't have a great need to shave- although I do shave them for texture's sake.

I had thought that from your appearance and attire that you were of the European persuasion, and that you perhaps exhuded a certain pungence adhered to continental standards of grooming.

They had a big job fair to hire nurses here last week, they were giving them a $3,000 sign-up bonus, there's a nurse shortage. One thing, there is a lot of protest among the non-native English speaking nurses about the TSE (Test of Spoken English) because a lot of them have sort of pidgin English, and basically no command of the language, so that it nearly impossible to communicate with them except for laughing and yelling which gets the meaning across regardless of words but has little value in diagnostics and treatment.

Contrary to how I may appear, I do wash myself regularly. Although back in Austria, a bath would be performed every three days.

Only kidding with youse guys; I am very happy for anyone who finds some happiness as you two appear to be for posing in front of a big heart.

Thanks, Mr. Biscuit.

COUGH HACK THIS SHOWER DOESN'T APPEAR TO BE WORKING

HEARTBROKEN

I THOUGHT WE...I...

SOB

It appears that someone who hates us is trying to cause a ruckus and is gunking up this noble site with malicious spam comments. I never dated Heinrich Himmler, don't listen to his lies! Oh, yeah-and the gas is normal.......