Zirealism

everyone out there... close your eyes and say "I believe in Zirealism... I believe in Zirealism..." hurry before it's too late!

*closes eye* ITS NOT WORKING! ITS NOT WORKING!!!!....HELP!!!

I think it was worth the wait. One of my favorites so far.

WOW..this is kewl! I get it too. But being romantic doesn't mean killing them. *sniff*...I wish antwan could be here to see this.

More romantic would be the milk white neck of a fair young maiden. Yeah, let's see Anne Rice write about the reality of the situation. But I think that there were some anemic East Europeans who dined on blood.

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began pestering him about where he got it. He told them to go away and let him get some sleep but they persisted until finally he gave in. "OK, follow me" he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him. Down through the valley they went, across a river and into a forest full of trees. Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him. "Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked. "Yes, Yes, Yes!" the bats all screamed in a salivating frenzy. "Good" said the bat, "Because I sure as hell didn't!"

Ever notice how Hieronymous Biscuit always has stories. He post stories on every topic... we should all hail Biscuit...he could run this place. a update everyday..with the famous Zirealism thrown in ever once and awhile. Ha...It's Judgement day in Thingsihate... We March! oh look....The crisper drawer!

Biscuit has to post a story into every fucking comment he writes.
No, he can't just comment, he must Comment, must have a metaphor, must have a joke, a rant, story, similarity.....at first I was impressed, I was even sure he was the new Antwan, or that other guy I like that lives at this site; the one who hasn't posted for awhile. But as time went by I found that as hard as Biscuit tries, he comes off kinda NERDY. He's impressive the same way people who memorise entire Monty Python movies are impressive. Thats not to say they're not nerds with way too much time on their hands, and who try too hard. Yes, that's Biscuit. Sorry to bust a cap in yo' ass, but you're not the sharpest stick in the faggot. No, I didn't make that up. I wish I could say I did, but there you are. Look at me go, I'm ranting just like twins! (she doesn't know I'm here, shhhh) This is a thingsihate rant, because it's something I hate! Pity it's not a post, but just a comment.
Anyway, I do like this Zirealism, because it made me think of goatsuckers, or those things that people think are El chupacabra or summat, that suck entire farm animals dry. Yep, a whole farm animal.

Jeezus christ Eve, I can't leave you alone for 3 minutes!!??!?!?!?!?
I turn my fucking back, you fuck up my comment.....
Argh, this zirealism aint that bad, posthumous! It reminded me of angsty gothic novels, and teenage...well, angst.
Maybe the bat was an angsty gothic teenager, and got transformed into a vampire, for the whole romantic, erotic, and tragic story of One Who Must Live Forever Undying thing, and found they could transform into other beings, "Oh, dream come true," the goth cries, then....
Hmmm. Sucking blood from a cow's arse. Yeah. That's great. Good for them.

Hey zim, I like the cut of your jib. Do you think I can find any decent reviews of finding nemo?! Tell me, who is The Cheat? (the movie aint out where I'm at)

Eve: Biscuit the new Antwan? I have one thing to say to you, and it's not very polite--a hint tho, it starts with "Go" and ends with "hell".

Twins: click Zim's name for the link, and welcome to the 21st-century, already in progress. Glad you could join us.

That's a good idea; why don't you go suck a farm animal dry?

Biscuit came before Antwan, he abides even after antwan is gone. He is like the water cycle, the evaporation the condensation and precipitation. Antwan on the other hand is like a vomit stain on the balcony of a council house block of flats on the eighth floor, caused by the drinking of an entire bottle of tequila at a party some two floors below where the welsh girls were feisty and a girl called kate was called something else. A stain that was removed not by the weather but by repeatedly throwing whole saucepans of water over it because someone had left it to dry for several months, before deciding they wanted to use the balcony again.

Any comparisons drawn between the two are preposterous and are akin to comparing the cleanign of a fridge with the cleanign of an entire city using a tsunami.

http://www.timetravelfund.com/

Yah, why don't you all get lives.
Chill guys

Is there a "Things I Hate" chatroom?
Where we can flame, and defame?

T

Yes Truly Buscuit shall always be here. He is like god, Omnipresent and all-knowing. Additionally all hail the return of non-conformist zirealisms. Now where's my twenty bucks both of you.

Sure, HB is nerdy... like Keanu Reeves is nerdy! Like Bill Gates is nerdy! Like James Joyce is nerdy!

disclaimer: this comment in no way implies approval of that one time every year HB turns into a Nazi and changes his name.

Antwan is weird..he is not biscuit. Antwan lived on Maddox, Somethingawful, sixsixfive, portalofevil, & seanbaby forever. then he found this place. and its the only place that lets him use his articles, so he stays. Except for summer, he is on vacation.

Did I miss Buscuit is a nazi day AGAIN!? Why must my life be one of constant aggony? and seriously Posthumous where's my twenty bucks?

On an unrelated note that www.timetravelfund.com link was a lot more fun when I didn't see the d.

Yeah, I just bought my Time Travel share. I'm waiting for them to come pick me up now. Aaaaannnnnyyyyyy minute now. Come on, dammit.

I also bought one for my dad for a late father's day present (seriously). He might think I'm a dickhead now, but he'll thank me in 500 years.

the clue is above petey's head.

I don't understand...how did we get off the topic of the bat. Why is "yer SUNDAY Comics" still on a monday. What clue are we talking about? and how did we get into Time Travel? So many questions so little...um..space in the crisper drawer.

I'm no expert on Bovinity.

How far are vampire bats spread? For all things vampire and zombie, check out (fittingly) allthingszombie.com and fvza.org (or .com).

The flies area a very nice touch. Maybe the bat is trying to find the best (or worst?) smelling bovine for a moon-lit dinner with another fine snub-nosed example of Desmondus rotundas (Jennifer Lopez's vampire genus and speicies? Sorry, I couldnt help it.)

I think I'll hire either Mr. T or HB to father my children.

According to the Old Testimate, the bat is a bird.