First Time for Everything

The first time I killed Robby, we were just sitting around the house not doing much of anything.

We were on the couch watching TV. Our empty dinner plates sat on the coffee table. Robby had made steaks, and I had made baked potatoes. We worked together well like that.

I'm still not sure why I did it. Frasier had just gotten over, and I guess I was just bored, so I took my steak knife and stuck it in the back of
Robby's neck.

The reaction I got was immediate and amazing. He had been sitting forward on the couch, and he sat straight up. "Gak," he said. Blood started to flow from the hole the knife made in his neck. I pulled the knife out and cut a horizontal line across his throat, right in the middle of his Adam's apple. He was waving his arms up and down like he was trying to take off. Unintelligible words that sounded like Russian curses kept coming out of his mouth.

I stabbed the knife back into the back of his neck and twisted it around some. I heard and felt it hit something hard that had to be his spine. Blood was pouring down the back of his neck, turning his once gray shirt an ugly crimson. I pulled the knife out and stuck it in his back right below the shoulder blades.

The whole time, I had a smile on my face.

Fifteen minutes later, it was all over. Robby lay face down on the floor with the steak knife sticking straight out of his back. Blood was on the floor, the couch, the TV, and all over the walls. Something small and white was lying on my plate next to the shriveled skin of my potato, and I stared at it for several seconds before realizing that it was one of Robby's index fingers. Lost in the daze of killing him, I had cut it off without even realizing it.

A tip for anybody hooked on cocaine and trying to stop: Try murder. You get the same rush, and it's cheaper. Also, no bloody nose.

The exhilarating feeling that I got after hacking Robby to death with a six-inch steak knife was unlike anything I had ever felt before. Adrenaline was coursing through my body, and I felt alive for the first time in my entire life. I could do anything, and nothing could stand in my way.

I know, I know, the whole murder thing. After the adrenaline wore off a little bit, I thought that too. Well, it wasn't a problem. Trust me.

The adrenaline did wear off, of course. The feeling you get from murder is only temporary.

The first thing I did after killing Robby was pull the knife out of his back. It was covered with blood, so I took it into the kitchen and put in the sink. I filled the sink with hot soapy water, and then I went back into the living room, turned on the radio, and started to clean up the mess. I've always been pretty good at cleaning things.