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you're a wreck
Long story short: there's this song.
So I have a 3-CD set called "Undead: A Gothic Masterpiece." I don't know if it's so much "gothic" as it's "British club music of the late '80s-early '90s that was really cheap to license," but I like it. (Everyone else here hates it. A lot.)
I like it so much I bought the sequel, "Flesheaters: The Return of Undead," which is pretty good except for having three different versions of "Louie Louie" on the same CD. I guess it's supposed to be ironic or edgy, but I really hate "Louie Louie."
One of the songs on that last compilation is called "You're A Wreck," and it sounds like what would happen if the guy who sang "Monster Mash" discovered New Wave. If you check that last link you found a RealAudio file and a little band bio - I was heartbroken to find out they were a joke band - but nowhere, absolutely nowhere on the whole entire Internet will you find the lyrics to "You're A Wreck."
Until...now! Hit it!
You're A Wreck
by The Very Things
transcribed as a public service by thingsihate.org
Mother?
Mother?
Are you awake, Mother?
Mother, are you awake?
The light pours out of Mummy's house
The lights are all left on
The doors are open, windows wide
The television's on
Mummy's lying on the floor
Head propped up to see
The little figures run around
The black and white T.V.
I know that you are in a state
But Mummy, what the heck?
Mummy, take a look around
Mummy, you're a wreck
Electric toothbrush, vacuum cleaner
Mixer all plugged in
Wires buzz while showers of sparks
Cascade from crowded plugs
Molten chocolate rivulets
Run down her mint green dress
Smears of red stuff in her hair
The whole place is a mess
I know that you are in a state
But Mummy, what the heck?
Mummy, take a look around
Mummy, you're a wreck
Mummy?
You're a WRECK!
The Chevrolet is four feet shorter
Than it was before
Since you drove back last night
And forgot the garage door
There's great big pink enamel flakes
Lying on the ground
The driver's door's flung open
And the radio's playing loud
The single shining headlight shows
The refrigerator's there
It's full of ice and bits of food
But the shelves are mostly bare
There's bowls of cake and instant soup
And stuff around the place
There's matching spots of stuff amongst
The makeup on your face
I know that you are in a state
But Mummy, what the heck?
Mummy, take a look around
Mummy, you're a wreck
Mummy?
Have you gone to the dogs?
Or have the dogs been here?
The taps are on.
The lights are on.
The washing machine is on.
Why is the cooker on when the food is all over the floor?
Mummy?
Have you dozed off?
Mummy?
Mummy!
Mummy?
Mummy, you're a wreck!
I think I ought to speak my mind
What has become of you?
Mum-mum-mum-mum-mum-mum-mum-mum-mummy
Mum-mum-mum-mum-mum-mum-mum-mum-mummy
Perhaps I ought to flick 'round with a duster.
[much humming]