Fuck You Because I'm in Pain
I don't even have clothes
The terrible thing about fathers with sons who have been unceremoniously jettisoned from Government service is that they try to make those sons look forward to their homecoming. Paternal eyes glint with some kind of malignant light that pumps up the young man, tales of free housing, food and women delight the imagination and tickle the sensibilities of an otherwise healthy and coherent young man.
"Yes, yes, the cute girl you knew in high school has been asking about you. She's gorgeous, and I bet she pines for you every day, young man. Come home and this bounty could be yours! You could both work at the hardware store and deliver your children there and name them after belt sanders and rotary saws!"
Little Beltina Sander and Rotarian Saw Jr. Thanks dad!
"I could build you a little house just off of the big plush house you helped build and wire with your own two hands. A kitchen, a bathroom, and a bed all your own! I could even run a phone line and heat out to it! It would be grand, sitting on the porch together, Beltina sanding the patio while I carefully balanced Rotarian on my knee! Nothing is too good for my boy!"
These are the dreams that a young man with all of his worldly possessions lost between hell and breakfast has to lean on. AND THEY ALL COME CRASHING DOWN. Beltina and Rotarian, never to be because the cute girl from high school introduces you to her husband and their son ROLAND. Guess what Roland? You killed my little girl! Fuck you!
And the little house? Oh, the little house, that's right! Yeah, it's going to be storage, and maybe a Murphy bed that folds out of the closet? Boy, am I glad I threw away three years of hard work to live like a bum on your floor. Please don't step on my glasses; they're Government Issue and very fragile.
Tense? I'm not tense. I have no job skills, I have no money; I don't even have clothes because an ink pen doesn't go so well in the wash with the colored clothes. I'm not tense; I'm fucking panicked.
Hooray for prescription anti-depressants! Hooray for multi colored lights and singing bartenders. Thanks for the help, guys! What I really appreciate is all the unsolicited help I get from people I don't even know. Hey, lick my balls, you uninformed assholes, I KNOW what MY limit is! Hey, and FUCK Roland!