By: Annna
[2003-08-28]
Involuntary Totem Animal Accumulation
being a theory and a hint for more skulls
At some point, someone gets you a stuffed giraffe for a birthday. Maybe you like giraffes but not a huge amount, maybe you've never really thought about giraffes much but you thank the person anyway.
At Christmas, you get another stuffed giraffe
and a ceramic giraffe spoonrest. At your next birthday, half of your gifts are giraffes of some description. Soon everyone, when stumped for gifts, buys you giraffe-related things. Your relatives, on vacation or in a store, see a giraffe-themed object and automatically think, ''Oh, [blank] would get a kick out of that!''
Sooner than you think, it's too late to tell
everyone you know, ''Guys, I don't really like giraffes all that much.'' And you begin to realize; you don't mind giraffes. You actually kinda like them. As you get more and more giraffe-related crap, you start to think that you have it because
you like giraffes, not because liking giraffes was thrust upon you.
Sometimes if you change jobs you can also change your totem animal by tossing all your giraffe-themed office supplies, but it's risky. Someone might give you a sculpted hippo magnet in the office gift exchange, and the cycle starts again in a worse direction.
It is generally preferable to decide on an animal and buy or hint for a few trinkets yourself to get the ball rolling in a direction you don't totally hate. Most girls do this early in life, so it's a lot easier to find cat, puppy and horsey merchandise than, say, wombat-shaped slippers.
I personally have a shelf (in the bathroom) of various skulls and skull replicas. When my parents sends me a care package, there are often one or two more little plastic skulls in it. The only failing of skulls as my personal shallow gift category is that they are not terribly well-represented at Hallmark, so my grandparents still send me kitten-themed birthday cards and the occasional stuffed cat.
Your other option is, of course, suicide.
This... has happened to me...
Thank God someone shares my pain. Now I actually think I like hedgehogs, but you know, it could be worse. I could have been gifted with a jackal or dung beetle.
In Mexico on the Day of the Dead, they have lots of skulls. You could walk around with a skull mask on playing the ukulele and it wouldn't seem unusual.
For me it was ducks. But I solved the problem by never buying anyone gifts. Eventually, I stopped getting any.
Why is Hippo a worse animal...my tomem animal is the hippo...or the Mongoose but, again not so much mongoose related stuff.
I think that the plural of mongoose is mongeese.
if the animal isn't a prediator or some kind of kewl looking beast, then your a wuss. Take Wolves for instance, They are the kewlest, If you like cats, don't say Cats, say Tigers. Antwan's totem animal is underaged japanese school girls. Tomarrow starts the fun!
i don't really have an animal. people buy me snowglobes. they see the shelf of them in my roon and think, "ah. she likes snowglobes." and it isn't true. i only have them because people have been giving them to me since i was six.
as for the mongoose, people would probably give you ferret stuff, saying they look kinda alike, and ferrets are slightly more popular.
If that shelf's brackets were to become somehow wobbly*, your problems would be over.
*as many times as it took.
If you collected jackalopes, it might slow people down somewhat.
The Jackalope is a rare beast indeed, and hard to collect.
But not if they went here: http://www.jackalopejunction.com/
Golden Sun 2 The lost Age training. Also, I've been "entertaining". Err... anyway, I like any animal that's cursed with Lycantrope. For instance, the wereworlf or werebear. But it's gets better than that. A wereoctupus for instance. And tommorrow the fanfictions! Woo!
1. Flamingos. (Flamingeese? I never really cared enough to find out.)
2. Nutcrackers. None of them functional for actually cracking nuts, all of them painted as different ballet/folk tale characters. Oh, plus the nutcracker nesting dolls.
If they aren't "were" creatures, I don't want to hear it.
This is normally the place where I would say how long it is until the next Zirealism, but thanks to hate week I REALLY hate Zirealism so drop dead Posthumous. Preferable onto a weremonkey.
Well thats what the kid gets for being a dumbass.. It was prolly karmic justice for when the last kid fucked up! what goes around comes around i like to say and if some one did that do me id be like wtf is this? A giraffe i dont give u a stuffed fucked animal for ur bday? get it out of here... These people need to grow some balls and sport how they feel...
Maybe I could start collecting werewaffles.
I would totally love to live in a werehouse.
Then I wuld b like all EL OH EL OH EM GEE im 2 cool 4 spellin and grammuh puntuation is 4 loozers el em ey oh!
I have a stuffed leopard (I named him Bobby), my dad's stuffed boxer (unfortunatly, it's not an Evander Holifield [sic] doll with a detatchable velcro ear, it's the dog), a big Gorilla named Henry (who is wearing boxing gloves and this purple feux-velvet hat), and some Gundam action figures.
Robots are cool.
I want to be a werewithal.
that's right, for me it was bunnies. one for every birthday, christmas, you get the idea. how did I stop it? by suggesting we serve rabbit for christmas dinner when I was twelve and blatantly stating that everyone likes gift certificates.
