The Story of the Cheat: the Beginning
thingsihate fanfic week - three
I could go through this and fix the spelling and grammar, but I think it would ruin this piece's charm. Also, I only understand about a third of it, and I'm fundamentally lazy. Enjoy! - ed.
"The Story of "The Cheat" The beginning"
by. The Cheat
Boys and girls, Gather around for an amazing story, Never told to a audience under the age of 13. The story of The Cheat, you must understand, The cheat does not speak english, he speaks... Cheat.
In the beginning, God created the earth and everything on it. Millions of years later, God made a sneaky little fellow named "The Cheat". He was spawned to the world of Homestar Runner. The Cheat lived their for many years, untill that stormy summer night. The cheat had stayed up late kicking the shit out of Strong Sad, when Strong bad suddenly busted in. He pronounced that he was fed up with Homestar, and wish there was a way to get rid of him.
anyways, long story short, The cheat got homestar to drink the bong water. The cheat was upset, He didn't relise how much of a pussy everyone was at homestarrunner.com. Soon The Cheat started on a Journy for a new home, he found this home at Thingsihate.org, this is his story......
One day The Cheat met a weird little fellow, named Antwan. So after a short period time, The Cheat Joined Antwan, as his Fan club member. The cheat still had some vilent ways in him, and only a short period of time later did the cheat start using it. "Antwan, why isn't your article up yet?" shouted The cheat from his computer. "sorry, but Matie didn't post it this week" replied antwan. This pissed The Cheat off.
Later that night, The Cheat made a plan, and having experience from playing "Clue" The cheat decided it was time to correct this mistake made by matie. yes, That house burned nicely, The cheat chuckled in the distance. Annna however, was not in the house at the time, but The Cheat really didn't care.
"Well, the deed is done" chuckled The Cheat,
"What deed, Oh..did you masturbate on my futon again?" shouted Antwan.
"NO bitch, I didn't. Let's just say Matie has a new job, Frying MWAHAHAHAHA HAH" Evily laughed The Cheat.
"That's not funny" muttered Antwan
"I know, I'm not very good at this" replied The Cheat.
One week later, The cheat was really getting pissed, everyone at thingsihate was unkewl. "Time to deal with this" remarked The Cheat. The cheat thought to himself, I really need to start eliminating people, Let's start with the first five.
"On the first five to die list we have: "Another Timmy", "Mike the unicycle guy", "Some idiot", "Zim", and "Nakoruru" hmmm..Nakoruru has pissed me off alot lately, trying to be Antwan's biggest fan, NOT IN MY HOUSE" Said The Cheat.
Later that night, Gir came over and decided to help the cheat. They ran to Nakaruru's house and well, you guessed it, Burned it down!
Oh shit, Sorry boys and girls, I'm tired of telling this story, plus it sucks ass. So tell you what, The cheat killed: Antwan's pokemon "Molestar, Andrewsarchus, and Doc Morbid by burning their house down, with them in it of course.
That leaves, some very famous people on thingsihate, some very famous people who pissed off The Cheat. First, The Cheat went to good ol' Posthumous's house. The cheat stole all of his "Zirealisms" and shit on them one by one.
The Cheat relised that, this is not helping, "I must do more, MORE! I must take out Posthumous himself!" yelled The Cheat. Posthumous came out, apprently drunk on ass cream, and thought to himself "wow, a little yellow dude, I should sketch him staring a oddly arousing pile of well dressed men, while punching a dog" have assedly said Posthumous.
The cheat thought for a moment, while Posthumous Vigorously rubbed his crotch while thinking of HB, that Why just kill posthumous and burn all of the zirealisms? "I got it! I can Take all the zirealisms and put them in a stuffed penguin and send them both to the sun" shouted The Cheat, and that's what happened.
There was still quite a few people left who The Cheat hated, so He started with Laconic, just because he hate's Antwan. The Cheat got his good ol' friend "Arnold the Terminator", to show Laconic what prison life was like.
More Ticia tried to speak to The cheat and tried to convince him to kill Antwan. More Ticia was stoned to death by a angry mob. Look a Bunny!
There was only ONE person left, that The Cheat had to get rid of: Hieronymous Biscuit. HB was not like any other person, he had a damn cheese cannon.
"I wonder, would HB fall for a trap...No. Would HB eat or drink something I give him....no. I got it, I'll trick him by dressing Gir up as a homesexual version of Antwan, that's what he's always wanted!", said The Cheat. So The Cheat took gir to Antwan's house, and died his Hair white, and made him wear gloves. "There! Now your a homesexual version of Antwan", remarked The Cheat.
Later that night, The plan had been exicuted, and The Cheat waited for gir to come back covered in blood. Well Gir came back and he was covered in something.
The cheat sniffed the stains on the Antwan costume and looked disgusted. "What did you guys do, OH NO..You two..."
"Made sandwhiches" said Gir.
"that's what I thought, I knew I smelled Pickles" laughed The Cheat.
Well boys and girls, The Cheat finally won control over Thingsihate, and it became funny. Antwan posted every day, and The cheat laughed and made fun of everyone else. Now, the cheat did not kill everyone, He decided to let himself, Antwan, Gir, Annna, and Twins live. This is the end of "The Story of The Cheat"
"I have to piss!", said one of the little boys, "NO! I told you not to say anything" Shouted the story teller, as he poured hot tar over the little boy.
The cheat would like to thank everyone who was in the story, and NO ONE really died. The Cheat also relises that this sucked, and would like to take his normal job of laughing at everyone else back. "untill next time kiddies, Go screw a tree" Shouted The Cheat
"I was raised by a cup of coffeeeeee..." Said Homesar.
"What! Homesar, what the hell are you doing here?" asked The Cheat.
"I'm a song from the 60's!" Homesar said as he fondled himself
Suddenly Strong bad appeard and punched off homesar's head.
"Now that's what I call home entertainment" Shouted Strong bad!
"I'll be back" Said Arnold the terminator,
"hey what the hell, this is my story!" shouted The Cheat, as he Massacured everyone with a chain gun. The Cheat and Tommy Vercetti laughed at everyone..and ate burritos.
the cheat's story is a registered trademark of "kissmyasstelevision"
"The Story of "The Cheat" The beginning"
by. The Cheat
Boys and girls, Gather around for an amazing story, Never told to a audience under the age of 13. The story of The Cheat, you must understand, The cheat does not speak english, he speaks... Cheat.
In the beginning, God created the earth and everything on it. Millions of years later, God made a sneaky little fellow named "The Cheat". He was spawned to the world of Homestar Runner. The Cheat lived their for many years, untill that stormy summer night. The cheat had stayed up late kicking the shit out of Strong Sad, when Strong bad suddenly busted in. He pronounced that he was fed up with Homestar, and wish there was a way to get rid of him.
anyways, long story short, The cheat got homestar to drink the bong water. The cheat was upset, He didn't relise how much of a pussy everyone was at homestarrunner.com. Soon The Cheat started on a Journy for a new home, he found this home at Thingsihate.org, this is his story......
One day The Cheat met a weird little fellow, named Antwan. So after a short period time, The Cheat Joined Antwan, as his Fan club member. The cheat still had some vilent ways in him, and only a short period of time later did the cheat start using it. "Antwan, why isn't your article up yet?" shouted The cheat from his computer. "sorry, but Matie didn't post it this week" replied antwan. This pissed The Cheat off.
Later that night, The Cheat made a plan, and having experience from playing "Clue" The cheat decided it was time to correct this mistake made by matie. yes, That house burned nicely, The cheat chuckled in the distance. Annna however, was not in the house at the time, but The Cheat really didn't care.
"Well, the deed is done" chuckled The Cheat,
"What deed, Oh..did you masturbate on my futon again?" shouted Antwan.
"NO bitch, I didn't. Let's just say Matie has a new job, Frying MWAHAHAHAHA HAH" Evily laughed The Cheat.
"That's not funny" muttered Antwan
"I know, I'm not very good at this" replied The Cheat.
One week later, The cheat was really getting pissed, everyone at thingsihate was unkewl. "Time to deal with this" remarked The Cheat. The cheat thought to himself, I really need to start eliminating people, Let's start with the first five.
"On the first five to die list we have: "Another Timmy", "Mike the unicycle guy", "Some idiot", "Zim", and "Nakoruru" hmmm..Nakoruru has pissed me off alot lately, trying to be Antwan's biggest fan, NOT IN MY HOUSE" Said The Cheat.
Later that night, Gir came over and decided to help the cheat. They ran to Nakaruru's house and well, you guessed it, Burned it down!
Oh shit, Sorry boys and girls, I'm tired of telling this story, plus it sucks ass. So tell you what, The cheat killed: Antwan's pokemon "Molestar, Andrewsarchus, and Doc Morbid by burning their house down, with them in it of course.
That leaves, some very famous people on thingsihate, some very famous people who pissed off The Cheat. First, The Cheat went to good ol' Posthumous's house. The cheat stole all of his "Zirealisms" and shit on them one by one.
The Cheat relised that, this is not helping, "I must do more, MORE! I must take out Posthumous himself!" yelled The Cheat. Posthumous came out, apprently drunk on ass cream, and thought to himself "wow, a little yellow dude, I should sketch him staring a oddly arousing pile of well dressed men, while punching a dog" have assedly said Posthumous.
The cheat thought for a moment, while Posthumous Vigorously rubbed his crotch while thinking of HB, that Why just kill posthumous and burn all of the zirealisms? "I got it! I can Take all the zirealisms and put them in a stuffed penguin and send them both to the sun" shouted The Cheat, and that's what happened.
There was still quite a few people left who The Cheat hated, so He started with Laconic, just because he hate's Antwan. The Cheat got his good ol' friend "Arnold the Terminator", to show Laconic what prison life was like.
More Ticia tried to speak to The cheat and tried to convince him to kill Antwan. More Ticia was stoned to death by a angry mob. Look a Bunny!
There was only ONE person left, that The Cheat had to get rid of: Hieronymous Biscuit. HB was not like any other person, he had a damn cheese cannon.
"I wonder, would HB fall for a trap...No. Would HB eat or drink something I give him....no. I got it, I'll trick him by dressing Gir up as a homesexual version of Antwan, that's what he's always wanted!", said The Cheat. So The Cheat took gir to Antwan's house, and died his Hair white, and made him wear gloves. "There! Now your a homesexual version of Antwan", remarked The Cheat.
Later that night, The plan had been exicuted, and The Cheat waited for gir to come back covered in blood. Well Gir came back and he was covered in something.
The cheat sniffed the stains on the Antwan costume and looked disgusted. "What did you guys do, OH NO..You two..."
"Made sandwhiches" said Gir.
"that's what I thought, I knew I smelled Pickles" laughed The Cheat.
Well boys and girls, The Cheat finally won control over Thingsihate, and it became funny. Antwan posted every day, and The cheat laughed and made fun of everyone else. Now, the cheat did not kill everyone, He decided to let himself, Antwan, Gir, Annna, and Twins live. This is the end of "The Story of The Cheat"
"I have to piss!", said one of the little boys, "NO! I told you not to say anything" Shouted the story teller, as he poured hot tar over the little boy.
The cheat would like to thank everyone who was in the story, and NO ONE really died. The Cheat also relises that this sucked, and would like to take his normal job of laughing at everyone else back. "untill next time kiddies, Go screw a tree" Shouted The Cheat
"I was raised by a cup of coffeeeeee..." Said Homesar.
"What! Homesar, what the hell are you doing here?" asked The Cheat.
"I'm a song from the 60's!" Homesar said as he fondled himself
Suddenly Strong bad appeard and punched off homesar's head.
"Now that's what I call home entertainment" Shouted Strong bad!
"I'll be back" Said Arnold the terminator,
"hey what the hell, this is my story!" shouted The Cheat, as he Massacured everyone with a chain gun. The Cheat and Tommy Vercetti laughed at everyone..and ate burritos.
the cheat's story is a registered trademark of "kissmyasstelevision"