King Antwan

Antwan has a self-esteem problem, it is all too evident. His wrath against others is caustic and without mirth. He reminds me of this episode of Cops I saw where there is a male motorist who gets stopped for a ticket and absolutely loses it.

He is SCREEECHING at the top of his voice at the cop. The vehicle is actually ROCKING with his apoplectic outburst, cursing and swearing and throwing the biggest tantrum I had ever seen on TV or real life. The cop calmly took the whole thing in, probably only because it was being recorded for an upcoming episode. Personally, I would have dragged the guy out through that rocking vehicle's window, batted him around with my trusty 12-inch MagLite, thrown him in the back of the cop car and ticketed him with anything I could think of (too bad there wasn't a law against adult public tantrums) while he was in handcuffs in the back seat.

I can see it right now (insert wavy line machine here):

Antwan at his dusty computer in his messy house, wearing a stained crusty pair of boxers and t-shirt to match, just waiting like a neurotic spider for the next person to answer his rambling/explosive verbal diatribe. Shock value is everything to him as he gets no enjoyment out of his sad little life unless he is verbally abusing someone online.

In real life, of course, he isn't man enough to confront anyone. His mother rules absolute in that house which is the reason he has to lash out behind an anonymous setting where in his own mind he reigns supreme. He dare not try this on his mother, as she will deny him the weekly painting of her toenails and the scrubbing of her bunions. He casts a baleful glance in her direction while he sends another volley of verbal diarrhea down the wires to etherland, getting a small rush from the *powah* he wields in his own little world that SHE can't be a part of.

Her child is the way he is because he was not taught otherwise. From the start, he was given free reign to do whatever he wished, as it would be bad for his psyche to hold him down to paltry rules and morals and values. As the years went slowly by, and the son did not move out as expected when he had reached the age of majority, she began to show nothing but contempt for her underwear-clad child in the corner, as he is less than zero in her own self-indulgent world. He sits, powerless and silent in his room, one large vein throbbing in his temple, gripping the mouse with white-knuckled conviction, waiting to inject his next victim with his watery expletives and rambling fractured beliefs. Long may he reign the wasteland of his own making.

Here's to King Antwan.