By: The Editors
[2003-09-12]
Call for Votes
I did not expect that to last two weeks
Angry people! Stupid people! Angry and stupid people! Biscuit!
The time you've awaited is finally at hand. The fanfiction is all posted and it's time to vote.
The ten entries are:
A Fantastic Pokmon Adventure! by Antwan Hearts.
Where we learn that Annna's sister is an enormous flying asexual gym teacher.
Too Much of a Good Thing by Hieronymous Biscuit.
Which in itself is the best thing ever.
The Story of the Cheat: the Beginning by The Cheat.
The incomprehensible wonder.
Kitten in the Twilight by Posthumous.
This was when things started to go awry.
The Submission by Jonas.
In which Jonas finally got us to print his LotR story from last year.
Antwan's Army by Laconic.
Definitely the champion in the namechecking division.
King Antwan by Morticia.
Ad Hominem Per Aspera
Abolish Antwan Now! by
Jake Fender Abraham Lincoln.
The world's forgotten boy / The one who searches and replaces
The Vision of Pos'u'thu Mus'a by Mike Peterson.
An astoundingly Antwan-free Lovecraftian pastiche.
The Two Deaths of Antwan Hearts by DeWalt Russ.
In which we learn more about the search and replace feature.
Please send one email per person to the amazing
Thingsihate.org Tabulatronic Electric Brain, in which you specify more or less clearly which story you preferred. The polls close Sunday at 2330 Pacific.
Ha! A crooked election! I knew it!! But no, please check the editor's voting link; I think that it says: "editor@thingsihate.rog"
Disregard the previous message, the official vote tabulator link is OK
Inform the troops The Cheat, this is war.
I honestly think on HB and Antwan should be able to be voted on, every other one had something with killing antwan. so ...well I need a sandwhich!
Are you tired of candidates who can't write thingsihate fanfic about thingsihate? Do you believe an anti-Zirealist attitude is what we need in these unstable times? Does is it seem to you that so many different candidates these days basically share the same platform--killing Antwan? It's as if it doesn't matter for whom you vote--or if you even need to vote at all.
Well there is an alternative.
jonas is the candidate thingsihate voters have been waiting for. Take a look at his initiatives:
x Spell-checking.
x Spearheading the non-inclusion of undesirables.
x Catering to popular interests, while keeping things fresh and exciting.
x Including breath-taking action.
x Suggesting an editor partook of morally reprehensible behaviour.
It is actions like these that thingsihate needs, and it is jonas' endeavour to step up to the responsibility of continuing to take these actions, and all others necessary for a better tomorrow. With an eye on thingsihate's well-being and a hand on Eve's thigh, jonas is the candidate to elect in 2003.
(Paid for with $10.27 and a shiny button.)
Just don't vote for Antwan's retarded ass.
In my defense I'll point out that I wrote my story for the express purpose of this contest because I saw a solid chance for some neat parallels. That said, I did write it at about 3 in the morning, and I wrote "Booth" a couple of times when I wasn't paying attention. Annna was gracious enough to correct those.
Hey GCG? Is that you The Cheat? Nobody could post only for the sole purpose of hating me. I mean, some of you people must have life outside of Anti-Antwanism right? It's this sort of blind hatred that will inevitably lead you to cast a vote for "A Fantastic Pokemon Adventure" as your head will be too far up your ass to figure out what you're voting for.
Anyway, I know that I have Matie's vote because she loves me so much. And I tatooed Minna's name all over mine body so I know that she'll vote for me.
Really, as long as Biscuit doesn't win, I'll be fine. I can stomach losing to "King Antwan" or "Abolish Antwan now" or even "The story of the Cheat: The beginning" but Biscuit's nonsensical gibberish shouldn't have even been posted. AND WHY DID YOU GO AHEAD AND PUT A ZIREALISM ON SUNDAY? I thought that I would at least get a-- oh! My hot pocket is done.
but I for one will be relieved when this self-indulgent exercise is over. I know, i know, it's "FanFic" - it's *supposed* to be about you guys. But for those who lurk and just like reading the occasional quirky story, it's been a total bummer.
Quality of writing has (LARGELY - N.B. the qualification) been replaced by...bad stories about people I don't know.
I guess I just object to the whole concept of "fanfic", especially in this forum.
Re: the above qualification, some of the storis were quality; my ultimate vote would go to "Too Much of a Good Thing" if I could be bothered.
Thank you for that glossy, meaningful contribution.
Anyway, my vote has been cast. I quiver with anticipation.
Congratulations. You have succeeded (albeit unwittingly) in being..witty?
Do you get it or need I explain?
Damn, you think jonas would learn, that he is to much of a dumbass to post here. Antwan your becoming paranoid because GCG hates you. idiot, I can't believe you think I'm him, and I voted for you! Your fan club sucks!
Together, the two of you are a towering monument to the babbling moron community. Keep it up! You guys give me a reason to choke to death on my tongue! keep checking back for your next sparkling comment!
It was hard for me to choose out of "Kitten in the Twilight", by Posthumous, or "Antwan's Army", by Laconic....but I think I'm won over the Knifekitten image. See, I need pretty colours to go with all those words. Visual aids help so much.
Why not just vote for me?
and GCG, I hope that you choke on a grape fruit tonight.
What are you trying to tell me, Antwan? Is that some kind of MORON CODE or something?
Duh duh d'duh
Duh d'duh duh
D'duh duh duh
Dit!
Diddy wa diddy
This is great, Antwan has a rival he can't shake. hahaha, but what's worse is that GCG is probably more of a dumbass than jonas. This is great, Vote for antwan's article!
I'm loving this hate. Keep it coming guys, fan the flames
Explain if you want.
I'm a simple man, pleased on by simple things. This modern lifestyle is too much for me to take.
I won the contest....somehow.
Who let you out of your cage? The Cheat was super pissed after he learned that you tried to take over the fan club. Anyway, you should have already voted for me and if you didn't, well, bad karma for you then. And now, a brief skit.
Antwan: Get'm biscuit!
Biscuit: "Attacks GCG"
Thank you.
