By: Annna [2003-09-15]

Fanfiction Contest Results

hours of number-crunching yield the tallies


RIP Harry Goz


What a long, strange two weeks that was, full of both greatness and horror. For the record, I'd like to state that the fanfiction contest, as well as the prize, was entirely my sister Matie's idea, although the anti-Antwan drift could not have been predicted. In the future we may have another writing contest, but it will not be quite so masturbatory a topic.

A total of twenty-one votes were cast, with only two authors voting for their own stories. Posthumous' Kitten in the Twilight was the clear winner with eight votes, followed closely by Hieronymous Biscuit's Too Much of a Good Thing (six votes). In a touching twist, the aforementioned authors voted for each other. Jolly good sportsmanship!

A Fantastic Pokmon Adventure! by Antwan Hearts took bronze with three votes, and The Vision of Pos'u'thu Mus'a by Mike Peterson got two. Everyone else got zero or one vote.

I was originally going to award preserves only to the winner, but my sister has explained to me again exactly how much jam we have. Posthumous, Biscuit, Antwan, please email the prize committee with your mailing addresses and we'll send it your way forthwith. Fourth-place winner Mike Peterson wins a consolation prize of one jar of jam, but the prize committee already knows where he lives. Mr. Peterson is advised not to sit too close to the window for the next few days.

Regular updates will recommence this Tuesday. Thank you for your participation.
Tom Principato and eBay Watches [2003-09-15 03:21:00] Hieronymous Biscuit
I am going to see Tom Principato on Friday, so maybe I'll write about that. Tom Principato used to play with the old band "Powerhouse" who used to play some Bullmoose Jackson tunes. Powerhouse had a sax and a blues harp with three slightly de-tuned mic pick-ups that made it sound like a full horn section, it gave the band a lot of ass! Pierre G. T. Beauregard, IV played harp with Powerhouse. One time I turned on the TeeVee early in the morning, and Pierre G. T. Beauregard, IV had a 76-piece all-harmonica band playing "Rock Around the Clock" in Central Park NYC. I have been buying watches on eBay, so I might write about that. Also, eBay has pounds of emeralds at auction. And there was a 50-gallon oil drum full of Lincoln wheat pennies for nine bucks!! I wonder what an oil drum full of pennies weighs?
Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [2003-09-15 04:48:00] Antwan
Wa-hooooooooooo!!!! The preserves are mine!!! This is the greatest moment of my life. Was Matie my third vote? I told you that she loved me.
And... And... and... [2003-09-15 04:49:00] Antwan
MY NAME IS IN THE NEWS (Dying of happiness)
I will never not vote again in future times [2003-09-15 04:50:00] twins
God I'm glad I voted. Everyone loves Knifey.
[2003-09-15 04:51:00] twins
Hey, look at that. We're all here at the same time.
All there [2003-09-15 06:00:00] Hieronymous Biscuit
I'm not all here.
not a touching twist [2003-09-15 06:32:00] posthumous
it was a conspiracy.

I want to thank the editors for that excellent title (since I did not provide one). I want to thank gorillas and suns for providing me so much inspiration. I could not have won without Antwan, but I don't want to thank him.
Not fair. [2003-09-15 13:56:00] Antwan
I was the only one who couldn't write an Anti-Antwan article.
wait, [2003-09-15 13:57:00] posthumous
I thought you did write an anti-Antwan article!?
HELL [2003-09-15 14:41:00] The Cheat
Mine should have won! Mine had the most people in it!
Confused. [2003-09-15 14:53:00] Antwan
How was my fan fiction Anti-Antwan? I got to marry Annna!
Most Enjoyable Contest EVER [2003-09-15 16:01:00] Vicarious
Well, I am content that the story I voted for at least got some preserve. Congratulations, winners. May your delicious jam provide you with a delicious alternative to dry toast.

I think I will actually enter the next contest and flex my writing muscle. Oh-ho, Not that one! Gosh! You guys!
your what? [2003-09-15 17:05:00] The Cheat
Oh I get it, Act like your all that AFTER the contest has ended. yea, Your story probably would have sucked more than mine, that is like...The pit of all half-ass wrote fanfictions. But in the end, Antwan did get to marry Annna.
The moral. [2003-09-15 19:14:00] Antwan
And isn't that what it's all about?
Yea [2003-09-15 19:19:00] The Cheat
MARRIAGE, NEWLYWEDS: with Antwan and Annna Premering tonight at 11:30 p.m. right after dicksrus. brought to you buy jonasisadumbassTV.
It'll be great! [2003-09-15 19:45:00] Antwan
I'm thinking about... Tokyo for the Honeymoon. Can someone give me a ride?
[2003-09-16 00:00:00] Eve
Ask JONADS.
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