By: po6 yeah
[2003-09-18]
Hitch
do you think they eat floral print?
The words came out of me like so much salt water. I spoke them with a sweaty haste - "Excuse me, but I think there are knives in you." He took no notice of what I said, having been talking straight for the last five minutes himself.
"Suit yourself. But you're not sucking blood out of me, you obsequious bastard," he continued on. "Can you hear the forest? Can you? It's screaming at us. We shouldn't have come this way. Can you feel the anger?" He still had those damned knives in his chest.
"Quiet, you fiend. There's danger afoot!" Surely there was danger somewhere. I could feel it. It wasn't anger; it was danger, obviously. We walked on. He kept talking about the enraged woods and the malicious intentions of the flora when I noticed the knives were gone. "About time you got rid of those knives. They were bothering me. Do you have any idea how hard it will be to get a ride if you have knives in your chest?"
The danger was getting closer. I wish he had those knives, just not in his chest. "What do you think they'll do to us?" he said, meaning the trees, I think, "Do you think they eat floral print? I really fucking dig this shirt, man. I don't want no damned willow eating it, man." I responded with, "Quiet, you fool. There are dangerous things about, and they're getting closer! Closer, do you hear me?" He did not.
We walked. He never hears me, and he leaves things lying around. Not always in his chest, that was just today. Sometime, though, he has bugs on him. I could hear the danger now, like a roaring jet plane.
My mouth felt sticky, and words were like syrup. "Get off the fucking road! Trouble is coming!" He wouldn't move, being scared of the bark and botanicals, so I grabbed him and dove into the brush. The Danger flew on, and it was red and hummed.
We need to get a ride out of here, before more like it comes.
It's like The Cheat got about forty new e-mail addresses and just started submitting.
Damn, to be your Fanclub leader, you sure do insult alot. Fatass. Anyways, If I had tons of email addresses, I WOULD HAVE MADE SURE YOU DIDN'T WIN THE PRESERVES! You selfless bastard.
I happen to like your fascination with knivesm you're a cook, am I right?
I like serial segments like this, random chapters. I like to look at all of the cooking equipment on eBay, they have milk shake machines. Also, now I want a Hobart 30-quart mixer. I like Laguiole pocket knives. The hurricane is starting here.
now those are the type that are just like a mix-master type of thing, but then you really start getting into the gear with what we call anal intruders..........that is huge(and i mean enormous) stick mixers! Alot of fun, I've broken a foot with one before.
I don't know what that means.
The hurricane looks very exciting. I get strange levels of enjoyment from staring at the radar images while drinking my instant coffee.
I been meaning to make a kind of chimney flute with pipes incremented so as to shift notes for so much wind velocity. The flute would trill up and down in variable wind, and the hurricane would have been a good chance to test it out. Next time.
And if you had recorded the output, you could have pressed it to vinyl and sold it to "indie" kids under the guise of Radiohead's next album. You would have been a titan of the (fake) music industry.
Alas, there is indeed always next time.
It's amazing all the new faces, or new aliases on old faces, the contest and it's preserves aftermath, has brought out, my self included. Hope fully some raging pedadant (I love that term) will be able to tell us all just how much the previous sentence butchered our already bastardized language.
Now to the point (gasp) of my comment. I've always wanted to make a wind harp. It would be a coloumn of different legth strings attached to a hollow wood box on top or bottom. The hammer would be a light ball that hangs in the middle. Perhaps someone with some knowledge of the physics of sound can tell me if this would work?
Having just read the article properly, I must say some parts of this remind me a little (too) strongly of 'Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas' by one Hunter Thompson.
...bunch of hanging strings being hit by any weight ball making much noise. Perhaps if the strings were tied to the tails of recalcitrant mice. And how do limp strings hang from a hollow wood box BOTTOM? By their very nature, they would hang limply over the edge making the 'bottom' the 'top'. Back to the drawing board with you.
Tempothanatos, I don't think what you're describing is properly a wind harp. You see them a lot in the craft stores around here. They're mounted on doors, so the swinging of the door operates the balls against the strings. They work just fine.
And you got that from the Red Danger hums? Hmmm?
Po6 yeah just uses to many metaphorical statements. What was the siginificance of the knives?
Sometimes bugs. It's to establish character, I think. You know, what kind of person it is.
"He never hears me, and he leaves things lying around. Not always in his chest, that was just today. Sometime, though, he has bugs on him."
I'm still flattered by the grotty jock song(s). I was nearly gonna write "filthy", but went with my better judgement. Yay! Maybe now I'LL get a cult following. Not that I need one, nosiree, nup, not for me, not here....not like I need a fanclub to make me feel big, nah...
I like this dream. It makes me think of Fear and Roaming in Las Vegas.
Or, to a lesser extent, Beer and Roaming in Las Vegas.
*dool---Days Of Our Lives. Heh, dool.
Yay!! talk like a pirate day!! I didn't even know about it until a few months ago...I can't believe some people actually have clubs for it. The time where I am right now is 6.05, Melbourne time. I am not alive at 1.12 in the morning, dammit.
*The author of this comment would like to extend apologies to one "Vicarious", as he/she didn't see "Vicarious's" comment.*
Brace the mizzen-mast, hearties; HARRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I should have put my posting name on that.
Is it any good, folks? HB, help me on this.
You guys keep deleting Antwan's and my post! omg look, the same exact aritcle that has cursed us for the past 3 days. Why...I only ask for something just a little bit entertaining!
And I think that your writing is getting better, too. If you posted more chapters in this series, I'd read them.
Unless you guys are already there i suggest you try OTC - Off Topic Central
http://www.otcentral.com/forum/index.php?
i hope you enjoy! and to see you there perhaps
ps. i don't expect this to get posted at all but regardless i know alot of you have things you want to say but are afraid, say it, no one really knows who you truly are, it's just fun!
