By: Dragonstar
[2003-09-23]
Love On The Net
What the hell do you think you're doing?
"What the hell do you think you're doing?"
These were the first words ever typed in what has now become a complete mess.
Being bored at home, drunk (as usual) and feeling a bit lonely I thought I should release some fury on some poor unsuspecting human who was downloading music from my computer. I fail to remember the reply. That first night with this person was the start of something that quickly became an obsession and is now my taking over my life and becoming my worst nightmare. I've always hated people who thought they could find something of real substance within the net.
Falling in love over the net, what a joke! It's only something that happens to idiots or really insane people who have no lives, lots of time, and the ability to type basic sentences. Punctuation doesn't matter here. No one ever really knows what you are thinking when you are just typing. Is it sarcastic? Is it a lie? Is this person just playing with me? All questions we have asked ourselves, and the truth is we are all wrong in what we think. How can anyone be sure without seeing the small changes in a physical expression, a flicker of cynicism only visible in your eyes, the way your thigh moves as I approach, or a nervous twitch of your lip which reflects your lie?
These things don't matter anymore. It's gone way too far.
We chat every day, every night, every waking moment if the other is online. Both of us ignore all the others we used to chat to politely and consider friends as such. It's now just the two of us. And it's scary, really scary. We live on opposite sides of the world and so as I am enjoying the evening, this person is rising to see the morning. We wake each other up everyday, It's nice having your own personal alarm clock who wakes you up to masturbate.
"Masturbate!" Hehehe, yes indeed. I have never jerked off so much in my life. My computer is now my best friend.
"So what!" I know what you're thinking, it's just lust for something you imagine in your head. Maybe, but in a few weeks this will change. I am moving to the other side of the world, to a country where I will have to learn a new language. Shit, I'm a 20-something-year-old who has become a kid again. I am moving to be with this love. I'm selling everything, I'm giving it all away, I am leaving it all behind because I need this person more than anything right now (except for my stereo system, that's something I just cannot part with for anyone).
I know, I know, I'm just obsessed, but isn't that what it's about?
Falling in love over the net is easy. It happens to us all in some form. The question is, what are you going to do about it?
Me, well, as I have said I'm risking it all and chasing a phantom dream. My hope is for this to be the best thing that could ever happen to me, making my life worthwhile. My worst fear is that I may end up in a foreign country with nothing but a pretty good computer.
The truth is I'm chasing a dream; while you are all just sitting at your keyboards fantasizing, at least I'm doing something about it.
I think that you are chasing your tail, but there's worse than being a romantic. Also, this sort of migration is very primate behaviour, is basic; many monkey tribes, about 30% of the breeders migrate. Bonne chance!
many (some?) of us sit home not fantasizing at our keyboards but appreciating someone else we have met in REAL LIFE. I say this not to condemn you but to offer my advice. I have done both. REAL LIFE is better.
Let me give you some advice, right before you meet her (or him) shout, By the power of Grayskull!
whats that suppose to mean?
The grayskull story can be found
here.
Did anyone else get all hot and bothered the first time they successfully used an html tag? I know I am.
Spoke too soon. Let's try
again.
aaaach. talking like you think you're a grizzled, jaded old man, when you haven't even shed all your baby fat yet.
I've met people over the internet who I got romantically involved with, several times. I won't say it can't ever work, because I know sometimes it does. But every single time the real-life transition turned out to be radically different than the all-electronic relationship that preceeded it. It was always a shock.
You should go over there for a visit first, before you "leave it all behind" for your would-be savior. There is no way you can know for sure that it will work before you get in some face time.
I find it extremely hard to recreate the " :-P " when talking to people offline. I might take a leaf out of Hiro's book and gargoyle myself up. I'll be able to read your eyes and find out life stories.
Look, another contest, LUCKILY I WON'T be entering. cause...I don't want, plus have you seen the rules, damn...to many damn rules. way to many, and look, Dragonstar has...well...I'm done
Yeah, Vivvy's got a point. Get in a little face time first. MAKE SURE YOU KNOW WHAT SHE LOOKS LIKE. Sheesh. (cry)
i know what this person looks like, i know their eyes, their smile,their body, their voice, ohhhh the voice..........
Does she have a little sister?
there is a sister but i don't care for her, she isn't my type really at all, i don't think we would get off on each other at all
No, I don't think you understand. I said little sister.
COME ON...Change the article, Go copy and paste an article from some other site. SO BORED.
Antwan, fighting boredom with Communism!
Dragonstar, fighting boredom with... uhh... masturbation...
Biscuit, giggle.
This is a little more poetic than the last post you made, Dragonstar.
I didn't think you had it in you. But you attitude reminds me:
ABOUT THE POWAH OF LURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRVE!!
!!!OOOHYEAHBABEH
That line in that mariah carey or celine dion song. Or, whoever sings it.
Yes, you're FRIGHTENED BUT YOU'RE READEH TA LEARRRN,.....
In short, love inspires you to do stupid things; stupid in the eyes of people who aren't smitten.
LALALAAAAAAAAA......
change it, now, i'm sick of seeing it, i'm tired of being reminded about this, it's bad enough feeling it without seeing it on the net as well, why the hell did i even bother? i must have been drunk
Dragonstar, you fucking idiot, stop hiding behind that oh-so-weak "I must have been drunk" line. You used it last time as I recall. Stop it.
I thought your piece was good, thought-provoking. I love the idea of a twenty-something selling/giving everything away, and making a leap into the unknown. It's what I'm going to do in about 12 months - to Dubai.
But good shit, and thanks.
And an interesting question was raised (although by inference): is love just a pathological obsession with someone else? Or is it more than that? What country are you moving to?
We'll come visit you!
There have been several recent accounts of bull moose wandering about looking for a lap dance, and somehow getting ensnared in hammocks that have been left out. So, if your hormones are raging, at least try to avoid ensnarements with hammocks, not much future in that.
i thought i read 'enamored of hamhocks'. actually, that makes more sense.
Minimalist!
and keep your amorous ham hocks in your grotty jocks, Jacques.
1. i did not post the last article and i am drunk most of the time
2. i'll only say that south america is where he is and where i'll be going
3. i like the sound of pork in hammocks
Where HE lives!??!?!?!?!
huh?
maybe i mistyped, maybe i didn't, that's for you to decide. it doesn't matter anyway whether it's a male or female, the feeling is still the same. i'm still going and there's only 5 weeks to go!
OH....MY....GOD. Unless I missed something vital, it seems to me that you are so desperate for affection you are latching on to anyhing that will have you.
Are you saying you've known this person for so long, yet you don't even know their fucking gender, and are running off to the middle of ASSFUCK NOWHERE just to see them?!?! Have you the crotch rot?!?!
From what I gathered in the article, it seemed as though you knew more about this person. For one second, I thought I saw true love in you. But now that thought has been kidnapped, beaten up, restrained, raped, sodomized repeatedly, butchered, and thrown in a river.
It's not love, it's being obsessed with a stranger because of false beliefs you hold about them, that will eventually culminate in you meeting not the love of your life (and I use the term "life" very loosly), but either an obese 40 something scottish nerd with cokebottle glasses, or an old vietnamese woman.
you got da crotch rot
in yo grotty jock
and that ain't no place
for an amorous ham hock
yes eve, you did miss something, if you read it right it's obvious what is going on, i may have written he instead of she, i may be gay, or i may be female
and pithymood, i like that
drunk most of the time, eh?
unwise, very unwise. And unhinged. The fact that you are drunk most of the time leads me to infer that your emotional situation is unstable, and this is a 'desperate lunge' for happiness.
But these things are interesting nonetheless, especially for the detached onlooker (but not for you. On the contrary I imagine it's rather mundane for you). Please be a dear (for I shall assume you are female, DragonStar) and keep us updated.
And don't mind the jaded old bastards who frequent this forum; their hearts are made of toughened leather. Have fun.
Oh, I love creating a stir! You are still being very ambiguous.
You know, you're consistantly losing all credibility. Maybe you should quit while you're ahead.
Yeah, there's only so many ways that you can make fun of Dragonstar... Please don't make a Zirealism take over before another article...
seriously it's not that hard to turn a one line idea into a possibly thought provoking story, come on get your fingers moving on something other than on your own personal pleasure
I don't like this article. It's not hateful enough for me.
I want it to go away, now.
I'll replace with my article on how much of a slut Merideth Viera is.
This place has become very silly, very quickly.
Oh dear.
I am envious Dragonstar, not for your having found love, but for mustering up the courage of your convictions and actually doing something about it. I too have had those chances to take stock of my life and determine if an ocean was enough to seperate me from the world I know and head to places unknown, to a foreign country for the pursuit of happiness with a person who was also a foreigner in that country. (I did not pursue it, for various reasons.) However, I have not let that discourage me, and have found someone new and with SO much more potential, life, and love, that it nearly boggles my mind. Would it mean moving a few thousand miles within my own country, either for me or them? Sure. Time is rolling along, and I look forward that with every day passing it brings us one less we'll have to wait till THAT DAY when we can be together. The day of my convictions will come. I envy the strength of yours and wish you the best. Congrats, and I hope it is everything you want and more wonderful than you could have imagined. The happy endings are the ones the cynics forget, the rest of us bolster ourselves with the promise that our day too will come. Thank you for opening a window for us into your life, keep the shades up and wave on occasion if we pass by. Take care.
