Zirealism

Period.

...I still miss sixsixfive

now only thingsihate brings joy into my bleak existance.

If you're looking for hope, then don't come to thingsihate.org on Sunday. Zirealisms can steal your soul.

...wakeup comic. But, it looks like BOTH chairs in the faculty smoking lounge have sex with the sittees. Or is the person on the right just tired from crocheting doilies till 3:00 a.m.? Or was she sitting on the left in the previous panel, and then furtively switched seats and that's why she looks so exhaustedly sated and wants to have another go, the little furniture-slut?
Women ARE multi-orgasmic, after all.

It must be a Sybian chair.

I like this one because it reminds me of a sitcom or something, or Sex and the City. It just feels so nine-to-five.
Relax, Morty. "Brunch" meant something entirely different...here I was feeling all flattered that I had another follower, when I found out it was only twins pretending to be "Brunch". She just wanted to piss me off again...
How did this even start, anyway? Was it me, or someone else? I've lost sight of my goal. All I ever wanted to be was a shifty bastard, not a god.
Also, as some of you may already know, yes, twins and I are sisters. However, she made out that I was the younger, more ignorant one.
I am younger, indeed. Younger....BY THREE MINUTES! HA! Your perception is altered now, is it not? You had different mental pictures for both of us, but now the two merge into one image. But is it Eve who looks good and sage like twins, or is it twins who looks evil like Eve? (Hey, "Evil Like Eve" could be my sitcom!)
Actually, neither. While we are identical, I am far more alternative, where she prefers clean, crisp new looks, and labels. Ugh. I have little or no coordination at all, and wear a mixture of things I like all at the same time, regardless if anything matches or not.
If you are wondering why I am telling you all this crud, that will become clear soon enough.

*I still get to keep Evenites. And Unite.

Me, I'm going for the layered-look.

As we were driving and I was attempting to move to the front, the pointy end of an armrest in my roommate's van got into a collision with my perineum just before I saw this zirealism. Strange and a little frightening, but also very entertaining.

Your room mate has wireless internet in his/her VAN?

Maybe it's a WAN WAP VAN


Btw.
I send my blessings from the (un?)holy church of Eve.
Hope you die horribly from my bad joke...

New contest!!! Wonder what I'll win! I'm loved by the editors you know....by the way, I HATE this zirealism.

The only time a chair ever tried having sex with me is when I was very young and the chair was too high to jump off of. Either that , or I was tripping. Or was I having sex with the chair? Or did somebody giving me a lapdance while I was on the chair? I don't remember! Antwan help me!!! Please!

I've got a lower case name--
I've got a lower case name--
Oh, baby
Oooo-Oooo-Oooooo

actually, immediately after the van tried to smash my choad, my roommate came to a blazing halt, sending me through the windshield and coming to rest in front of a computer, which I promptly used to visit thingsihate.

oh that van! oh that roommate! what a sense of humor he has.

Thanks Eve, why dontcha sully my good name some more, huh?
I, too, am sad about 665. I thought that JSP had another website though, am I incorrect? I could've sworn he writes a column...He'll be back with another site soon enough.
I was gonna ask him, but if anyone here knows: Is he the same guy from Planethate? I reeeealy hope not.
I still like you posty! Your zirealisms are appealing to me because they are so unfunny. Well, some are funny. A bit.

funny isn't everything.

yeah, sometimes honesty is better than funny.

but I haven't been able to apply many Zirealisms to my life.

Nobody explored why one is smoking. Did she already exhaust her chair? Is that an after-sex cigarette? Did her chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight?

After much struggling with my Yahoo account, I finally got my submission for the contest in. And by "my struggles" I mean I quit and decided to use my hotmail account. Do you DARE have the COURAGE to challenge me and The Cheat?

Also, I wanna write the comments for the next "How Insane People Get Here"!

...try duct tape

hb - why s'all three o' course

shes smoking for no reason she wants to switch caz she wants to get fucked its obvious shes having a crisis