Zirealism

Sometimes you're the windshield
Sometimes you're the bug
Sometimes it all comes together baby
Sometimes you're just a fool in love
Sometimes you're the Louisville Slugger
Sometimes you're the ball
Sometimes it all comes together
Sometimes you're gonna lose it all

Ooh, someone's mind snapped.
I can just see the bent silhouette of a figure hunched over a keyboard
in a dark room, chuckling maniacally as they comprehend the universe.
And that 'bugs eating' music is playing. You know the one. The insanity chord.
I just didn't wanna wait an extra day for the contest results, Pouty Mcpoutsalot.

Once again posty you have proved you are as perceptive as a blind man in a dark room looking for a black hat.

The elusive butterfly has just tiptoed past my door
My bonny likes the Yankees, she says "hey t-bone what's the score?"
I say "well, Reggie got 1 and 1 and 3 and 25 is 6 to 4"
Is the left wing really pinko? Colonel Sanders, what a bore.
You ask so many questions, what answers should I choose?
Is it schizoid paranoia or just existential blues?
--"T-Bone" Stankus

Yea, sorry posty but you've just let yourself go. Get creative man, go steal some ideas from Mad TV which is now on Comedy Centrial! well I have to go do my job (newgrounds) and go BLAM some crappy sudmissions!

I love the drawing. Check out the retro cap.

I like the guy's "Popeye" arms, and the wood grain on the corked bat.

..where's the balls!?
I feel like this guy looks.
I am bulky and I am ANGRY!
But I don't have any balls either *sob*
Ball envy, I suspect. Or perhaps it's bat envy?
I haven't gotten drunk since November 21st (well..except twice~ I'm a lying bitch sue me~ once on xmess day and once on the night before New Year's Eve).
Other than that I have been SOBER>
I have lost weight, I have regenerated BRAIN CELLS, I have been bored to freaking tears.
This time of year really is the wrong time of year to quit drinking. ANY time of year is, but THIS time of year it's a LOT harder to do.
It's January, it's colder than cold (read:-10c) and there is snow on the ground (ugh) but I don't care..the holiday season is over and the kidlet is back in school today YAY! after a 16 day break OH NOOO! The S/A hasn't worked for a couple of weeks...wayy too cold for construction. BUT!..he's being a nice fellow, though and is out of the house for the day today too YAY! and I am alone blissfully alone. Don't tell anyone but I got these PJ's for xmess from my hated sis-in-law and they are soooo buttery soft and warm and cuddly that this cold morning, I put my clothes on OVER TOP OF THEM! Yeah, I look like a homeless layered hobo but what the heck do I care? I'm no sex kitten in this weather. Give me a pair of warm sweats and a heavy sweater or two and some wool socks and slippers and an electric blanket and two heating pads and I'm a happy camper.
I can't MOVE, but I am happy.
My new PJ's are from Sears and I want to go down there and get a set in every color. But I can't get out of my driveway because of all the ..you know.. snow.
I love these pj's so much, I'm gonna wear them out and about in my neighborhood in the summer time.
Then I'll get a smoking jacket and an ascot.
But I digress...
I prefer to be in a warm house than outside scraping ice off a windshield anyway and I HATE driving in that crap. The only outside activity I have been doing is filling the bird feeder non-stop -poor lil birdies freezing their beaks 'n toes off- the kidlet pulled up a stool in the snow right beside the feeder and within 5 minutes they were landing on her hand to pick seeds from it. Then they started dive-bombing her and crapping on her coat for thanks, so she ran away hahaha
I viewed all this with much amuuusement from the cozy enclaves of my kitchen. Soberly, I might redundantly add.

Call me naive, but I've always wanted to know: How the hell do the holidays work in the US? When do you get breaks throughout the school year, when do you leave and come back again for a new year, and...eh, such and such. Does it vary from state to state?
I don't know if you know or not, but I'll go over it in more detail for those of you who are a little slow (you know who you are), over here, there's two schools; primary, and secondary, which is high school, the years in primary school run from prep to 6, which leaves you 12 when you move onto year 7 in high school which goes to year 12, then you leave at 18, and go on the dole, heh. Or if you're fresh outta year 12, head to Queensy for schoolies, which is like, I dunno, spring break for you guys? You can drink AND drive at 18, so you can get there yourself, and have a party on the way. And kill yourself. You've also got your schools that run from prep to 12, as well.
Kindergarten, for 3 or 4 year olds. (I think it's german for child labour camp).
Years 9 and younger leave maybe, a week before xmas, and return on the 28 Jan, but years 10 to 12 leave on the 28 Nov and return on the 28 Jan. At the end of each of the four terms of the school year, which makes up two semesters, we get two weeks off.
I think it's a little different in some states though. Queensland maybe. Do you get it?!
Enlighten me, people! How do YOU do things?!

FOOLS. Why don't you..enlighten us on your PATHETIC EARTHMONKEY ways.

whats up with the guys arm

He takes your head in his ahm like zo and he pops your head like a chicken.
Pop!

it's because he's foreshortened. (so no cause for bat envy!)

Ah! Yes. I've been reading too much "Zippy the Pinhead" where things are flatter and such niceties as foreshortening and perspective are often omitted.

Life is a blur of Republicans and meat!

So, if the comic is about what happens to baseballs sometimes, the bat should stick out or one has to play "Where's Waldo?" Timely because of Pete Rose' recent announcement that he did gamble on games. I wonder if he ever threw a game or corked his bat? I am temporarily very keen on corking bats. I wonder how one would cork a cricket bat? But that wouldn't be cricket then.

Morticia, I hate to have to tell you this, but brain cells don't regenerate; once they're dead, they're DEAD.... Kind of like my attention span right now.