By: The Editors [2004-02-16]

An Open Letter to the Sorority Chick Who Emailed Us

We bet she's TOTALLY hot.

From: XXXXX XXXXXX
To: editors@thingsihate.org

I love this site! However, when I was browsing I came across this thread:

http://www.thingsihate.org/view/559

I am a member of that sorority and I feel horrible that this member was treated so poorly. That's not how the group functions as an international organization, and I'm angry at her local chapter for doing those things -- nothing to do with ADPi ritual that was posted is even true -- so not only are they hazing, they're not following any of the rules at all! I'm more upset that this member was made to feel so degraded--- no one should be treated that way.

I would really appreciate it if you could completely delete this post -- I understand the poster wanted to vent about something that happened to her, and that something shouldn't have happened, but I would really hate for a non-member to see this and think all collegiate women's groups behave this way. These organizations (when they operate as they are supposed to) are a great way to make friends, meet people, have fun and so on and so forth -- I'm sure you don't want or need a lecture on why it's great to join a student organization in college- Thank you so much!

On a more positive note---Other than that, the site is fun-- it's a perfect, much-needed break in the day. Whoever thought of this concept is a genius!

Anyway, thank you for your help -- I don't suppose it is possible to contact the person who posted? I feel horrible for what she went through and I'd like to just offer my sincere apologies and sympathy-- it isn't supposed to be this way. Again, I appreciate your time and I hope you have a wonderful weekend!

Thanks!

From: editors@thingsihate.org:
To: XXXXX XXXXX

Hey, baby. How you doin'? Girl you are lookin' pretty FINE tonight. You want a beer?

So, you're in a sorority? That's totally awesome. I'm a frat. Serious! Way! My name's Chip, by the way, but all my frat brothers call me Bullfrog. So if you hear anyone talkin' about Bullfrog, that's me.

What's that? Why do they call me Bullfrog? Well back when I was a pledge they made us do this thing where a bunch of us guys all stood around this one single glass of beer an' had to take turns... haha oh man it's so nasty I don't even wanna get into it, but they said I made a noise that sounded like a frog.

Look I don't wanna come off as too forward or nothin', but you are by far the hottest girl at this party. Serious, no shit. You wanna maybe uh, go somewhere a little more private? My room's right upstairs...

Hey, hey, no problem, I understand. The night is young, party's just gettin' started. Whoa! Uh-oh! Looks like someone needs another beer. Lemme just go get you another -- HEY HEY, JIMMAY! SKIP, HOW YOU DOIN'? -- lemme just go get you another beer. Nah, nah, don't worry it's cool, we got a whole keg.

There ya go. So what's your major? Whoa, sociology? Awesome. I find that stuff really interesting. Really, you know, thought-provoking. What? Well no not yet, but I'm planning take some classes on it. I was thinkin' of doing it next semester. Yeah, totally. Me? I'm a business major.

What's that? What kind of music am I into? Oh you know just like rock and stuff... I really like Linkin Park and Limp Bizkit. What? Oh yeah I totally like Jewel too! Yeah, wow what a coincidence! I really liked that one song of hers... um... oh what was it.. uh... She's kinda got funny teeth though.

Whoa, looks like someone needs another beer... what? Moving on? Oh, well, uh, yeah OK then. Well hey I'll talk to you later sometime? Can I get your phone number? Oh sure right I understand. Well how about I give you mine? Oh, OK well yeah, hey, I'll see you around, OK? It's Chip. Or Bullfrog. Whichever you prefer. Right, yeah, OK see you later then.

to hot sorority girl [2004-02-16 06:59:00] Steve aka Scuba Steve

Hey girl, is that guy giving you any problems? You sure? 'cause I'll fuckin' wack him. No, I'm not some violent guy, ha-ha, nah, just lookin' out for the women, 'cause that's the kinda guy I am. Huh? No, not some sexist... hey, where you going? Need a beer? You sure? OK.. I'll be over here, flexing, if you need me. Yeah, my name's Steve. They call me "Scuba Steve" because... yeah, OK, bye then.

Sheesh! [2004-02-16 07:02:00] Hieronymous Biscuit

They sure got their collective panties in a bunch.

Kappa Kappa Gamma means [2004-02-16 09:50:00] Mrs Patrck Campbell

Know the good and the beautiful

Alcohol must truly kill tiny, tiny pieces of the brain. [2004-02-16 09:51:00] Hatless Jack

It's actually rather surprising to see how many of those (presumably) college educated chicks seem functionally illiterate. My university was never all that big on the greek thing, as I understand it back in the 60's the administration and a sizable majority of the student body banded together to beat them all down like bad puppies, so it came as kind of a shock to come across the swarm on that article. A sizeable majority of them seem legitimately concerned that their super-classified-top-secret rituals had been exposed to the world, and the way they amassed to defend their useless secrets has a fervor the world hasn't seen since Jonestown. Christ, the Freemasons wish they could defend their rituals half as well.

But then I guess I wouldn't understand sisterhood or brotherhood or whateverthefuckitis since the whole frat thing seems to always have really, really creepy homosexual undertones to it, and just from what I've seen on that page I can almost guarantee sororities have some kind of disturbing jailhouse matriarchy thing going on.

The French [2004-02-16 10:56:00] Hieronymous Biscuit

Yep, that's why I've always been suspicious, dubious of the French with that whole libert, galit, fraternit thing. On top of that, they gave us a damn statue that says send us your wretched refuse! What am I going to do with more wretched refuse, I'm already up to my keester in wretched refuse. And the damned French Republique, that's why America isn't a democracy but republic, maybe a somewhat democratic republic, but a republic first and foremost. God Save Our Republic! And if you think that the French aren't a pain in the bum with all of their libert, galit, e fraternit--just ask the Canadians about the Quebecois Seditionists! There they are, running around all over Canada with their damned libert, galit, fraternit and wretched refuse, eating quiche and drinking cheap Alsace beer, intentionally not shaving under their arms nor under their legs either for that matter, and driving those damned Deux Chevaux cars while playing the accordian.

Editors. [2004-02-16 15:01:00] Antwan

Is this all that we are to you editors? PIECES OF MEAT???

Antwan... [2004-02-16 16:38:00] Hieronymous Biscuit

Although I am not an editor, I have often fondly thought of you as a rump roast.

[2004-02-17 09:08:00] Dedas

Mmmh... Antwans ass on a plate, yum!

antwantree [2004-02-17 16:48:00] posthumous

I always thought of him as one of them white hot dogs.

Antwan's Ass on a Plate [2004-02-17 16:59:00] Hieronymous Biscuit

You want fries with that?

Hotdog! [2004-02-17 17:26:00] Hieronymous Biscuit

You want fries with that?

Cheeseburgie! [2004-02-17 17:43:00] Hieronymous Biscuit

Cheeseburgie!
Cheeseburgie!

Of interest [2004-02-17 20:03:00] laconic

I'd just like to note we're all horrible horrrible people....think this chick would date me?

greek? [2004-02-17 21:37:00] Hieronymous Biscuit

are you greek?

In terms of nationailty or social hierarchy? [2004-02-17 23:39:00] laconic

Because either way, no.

Maybe... [2004-02-17 23:55:00] Hieronymous Biscuit

they only date paddletramps. But don't do a web search for greek sex, it's probably not what you think.

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