Zirealism

Such a handy man...is he talkin' to the bottle or to Hannah and her four sisters? Let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth...if he really hadda ask which is better i think he should just stick with the beer for now..maybe if he can pour enuff of that licquid pants remover down a girl he mite figger it out.Wonder what happened to his other sock..ewwwwww he's not usin' that for a bounty the quicker picker upper is he?

A hundred reasons why beer is better, huh? This is a funny joke because it plays on a HUNDRED jokes! I think maybe guys start romancing the beer just for that nice yeast flavour counterbalanced with hop bitter. There's one neighbor lady who always has a dozen beers in her bag. She goes through more than a case a day. How did it get to be either/or? It seems like the thing to look for would be a chick sort of like a St. Bernard with a keg of beer! Although the traditional keg of brandy would be nice. Yay, beer!

Again with the liver...she'll be ok if she's famous like David Crosby...or maybe there's an abundant supply of organs now. Unless there's a copy cat Dahmer lurkin' about...soilent green is made out of people!!!!!!!!!
I don't like dark licqour...tastes the same goin' down as it does cummin' up...it forewarns me of a trip to worship the porcelain god.
At least that guy aint wearin' toe sox...

...but he's got one duck foot!

I think that you can go on a Chinese Liver Tour now, $20k round-trip w/liver transplant included! The only trouble with a Chinese liver transplant is that an hour later, you're hungry again.

Damn this puritan society of ours! People should be able to match the drug they're using to the particular situation they're in. Why, with the right uppers this poor slob would have already found a girl, taken five showers, started writing a book, and cleaned his entire house. But instead of the immaculately hygienic, manic active member of society this individual could have been he's been limited to sloth and depression by the drugs available.

Dang..what kinda Polly Anna rose colored glasses are u lookin' through?All the world's an asshole and we are merely fuckers..Gasp! You did what to whom? Makes me feel better about myself...I think the only reason people dig up dirt on people is coz they are usin the dirt to cover their own tracks.As Homer would say "alcohol: the coz of AND the answer to..all of life's problems"

Akahole is gud! But I know whut Hatless Jack means about being bludgeoned with booze and downers and the socially acceptable tranqs, when sometimes ya just would do a whole lot better job of it with 5mgs of Dexadrine or one of those black and white capsules that Smith-Kline used to make; the biphetamine sulphate that you could drive a truck from the East Coast to the West Coast and take a "turnaround" and drive back! Booze and pilz, you gotta be careful; there are some explosive mixtures in that alchemy.

Butt i guess what i meant was everything is acceptable as long as ya dont get caught....the ones that wanna know who stole the cookie from the cookie jar got crumbs on their face...please forgive me i only gots a 12th grade edumaction and i only comment on things whether i know what i speak of or not...

People set too much store in book larnin'! I only got a useless BA and half a master's degree. One of my heroes is Eric Hoffer, a longshoreman with a 3rd grade education who wrote some books and got a chair of philosophy at Berkeley. So there, mister smarty-pants! I sort of admire people who get lots of multiple degrees because they can navigate the edjumakational system better than me. But I know one guy who has more than 350 credits in various chemistry and geology and teaches at the University of Montana, but somehow he got alla those college credits and no damn degree. Go figure. Anyways, you don't need to be no meteorologist to know if it's raining or not. All I was agreeing with Hatless Jack about was that I don't know what happened to "Better Living Through Chemistry!" it seems like the only acceptable substances are the bludgeons, cudgels, and koshes. Oh, my!

I am glad u said damn in the above comment..as i forgot to use profanity in my last statement...: )

I like when Donald Duck cusses like !*X and smoke and lightning! Also, it's cool when people have dots and little bubbles floating in front of their eyes.

Yeah bubbles floatin' are cool..until they pop in the bathtub.

Yeah, that's a snorkle. A blat is a guy so short that when he farts, the dusts flies. A snarf is a guy who goes around sniffing bicycle seats. I forget what a blivet does.

OK, this is a blivet
What to look for is the rare double-spleavy blivet.

It's how you say it.I say it like this..."it" I like readin' stuff that makes me think and then it makes my head hurt and then i take a socially accepted aspirin and go lie down. Sometimes ignorance is bliss. Biscuit sometimes you make my head hurt.
http://www.blueray.com/dictionary/

Silly me..I fogot the profanity again.
http://www.funnyjunk.com/pages/history.htm

At least the Klein Bottles and Tesseracts of the world have the decency to give you something you could eventually wrap your mind around. Escher and his ilk, on the other hand, seem intent to simply break your brain... or my brain... or... Jesus Christ, I have a headache now.

Smile when you say "that"

Oh, yeah! I used to listen to them all the time! Maurits and Bullwinkle! Slow down you're going to fast--a macrobiotic diet at S^2G--Peanut butter's nice if it's crunchy--Karob tofu, I've got the munchkins

I feel a lot more like I do now than I used to.