Zirealism

I don't even want to know. There are some words that just should not be concatenated, no matter how descriptive the result may be.

That's what they all say...This is better suspense that that "sneak preview"...What's in a name...I used to giggle when i heard headcheese...I still do...who eats that shit? Any connotations the word headcheese can bring about,it still dont sound tasty.

Souse is good! And blutwurst and thuringer. Some of the Eye-talians are making deelucks salamis with prime meat cuts instead of leftover weird parts, but it's fermented raw meat! Prosciutto is raw ham. I don't normally eat tripe, but it's in Mexican menudo, and is a favorite antidote for too much tequila. Yeah, and I eat "the worm"--yak butter is good. One Mexican guy was cooking a pig's head and he cut off the nose for me for the honorary first taco. I haven't tried Korean pickled eel guts, but smoked eel is tastey. I don't eat much carp, but to some it's top o' the line; to me it's a bottom-feeder. Lungbutter might be like peanut butter, but made with tripe. Maybe not. No comic probably means one of two things a) Annna is visiting Medford again, or b) she was out all night dancing the Funky Chicken

Ingridients:
3-dozen moles
1-bunch of cilantro
1-jitomate
1-cebolla
13-capers

First, whack the moles until they are thoroughly pured. Then chop the cebolla and fold in. Likewise with the jitomate. Then turn into a bowl and garnish with capers and cilantro.

Buen Provecho!

I guess it don't matter what's in sumpin' ya eat..if u can get passed the smell u got it licked...whatever that brings to mind...smell like fish, taste like chicken..highly doubt it....when we were kids there always seemed to be this stinkin' mysterious cheese in the fridge..limberger...maybe it was made out of arms and legs (Dahmer style)it would always sit there when we opened the fridge daring us to get it out..unwrap it and take a big whiff...oh the power of cheese...maybe next time it will smell different ..nope the song remains the same...I saw a documentary in sum country where they eat cheese that has maggots ..yum yum ..If ya don't know the ingredients,it tastes good..when ya find out waht it was you can always puke later...http://www.labproductions.com/news/Stories/2004/02/13/107669235218.shtml

The "behind-the-scenes" in that restaurant link was funny, sounds like good homestyle cookin'! There is a BBQ championship event that has BBQ crews from all over getting together and gettin' dronk and puttin' the hog to the log. It is necessary to get drunk and cook all night so as to be ready for the next day's tasting and judging. So, one of my favorite stories from this event is the BBQ Crew that was doing their pig Hawaiian-style by burying the pig and building a fire on top. So, they did and proceeded to drink moonshine all night; but come morning, they couldn't find where they'd buried their pig. You had to be there.

I AM A LITTLE BUSY. Perhaps Jim or Sean can upload the comic?

I think of the Giant Planet Killer on Star Trek that cruised the Universe disinfecting it of carbon-based lifeforms. Last week, someone had correlated what time of year parents are born with how many kids they have; women born in the Spring have fewer kids and men born in the Fall have fewer. So, if a man born in the Spring marries a woman born in the Fall, there will be lots of headaches.

Alcohol and fire always goes well together...
http://www.cheeseracing.org/
As for the comix...what's even funnier is that she prolly hated the sex that spewed forth the lil tykes. I think GOD has a wry since of humour...it should be a rule that if ya get knocked up it should at least have to feel good. I guess her ol' man (men) like to keep her barefoot,preganant and in the kitchen..no wait she ain't got no feet...maybe this is from a sequel to The Step ~ lessford wives.Birth control ~ it's not just for women any more...

I have a headache..oh cool thats not the part i was aimin' to poke tonite...

"She said to give her 10" and make it hurt, so I porked her twice and smacked her upside the head."
The "Cheese Racing" reminded me of Fertnel! Check out the Meat Nickels and GloCheese!

Drastic surgical procedures are definitely in order since taking the pill doesn't seem to be working all that well. She also looks like a prime candidate to temporarily snap and perform four or five postpartum abortions. I don't think the adoption companies let you dump your whole brood on them and then let you skip off to have that second honeymoon you were never ever, ever going to take, but they should.

I'd make a great high school health teacher:
"Okay, now that were done with nutrition it's on to family planning. Fuck all you want, you just have to get you're self surgically sterilized."
"But Mr. Hatless, I want to have children at some point."
"No. No, you don't."
"Mr. Hatless, does surgical sterilization prevent sexually transmitted diseases."
"Probably. Does this look like a biology class to you?"

I would make an excellent high school health instructor, I would hand out free conundrums.

Yeah.. I don't think u can get pregnant usin' conundrums...they can make beautiful music together...not babies...the music is however, rather erotic...and though it's somewhat phallic..she might want more than that...
http://www.ninestones.com/muffler.html

Yep, I would tell them all about what goes on down under, wallabees, wannabes, Watanabe, knobkerries, and that if anyone asks them if they do drugs, "Just say 'No!'"

I don't know, maybe it's just me, but every post seems to jam that poor column into an ever-shrinking space like someone flicked the switch on the ThingsIHate trash compacter.

This is cruel. Columns have rights you know.

I don't know,maybe it's just me,butt ya didn't seem to mind hornin ' in on a lil more of that space when ya clicked the post comment button...shit i thought it was just me havin' sum flashback frum sumpin' i ate in the 70s..least i was hopin' it was i heard stories and i been waitin for years for that to happen..

Wide Glide!

http://www.astroglide.com/SampleRequest.asp

A rich man uses Vaseline
A poor man uses lard
Me, I uses axle-grease
But I packs it twice as hard

That's right... after going back and looking at my award the "What the goddamned hell" award from the Apocolypse now contest, I have decided to return and grace you with my unfair rateing system. ENJOY!!!

Bruhahahahaha! So... you've discovered my dark secret. My true passion is the systematic vivisection of frames, but one gets such little opportunity to indulge in that type of amusement these days. Crushing columns, flaying rows, slitting a whore's throat in a sleazy back road motel, serviceable stand-ins are always welcome whenever they can be found. Lock up your tables and close your tags for Hatless Jack is on the loose this dark night!

Muhahahaha hahahahaha hahaha!
[insert ominous thunderclap here]

More Name Callin' Kitchenware....
I used to love Robert Blake...never missed a weekly episode of Baretta...Fred was cool too...even enjoyed The Lil Rascals more when i found out he was Mickey...Maybe if he was the one that filled the baby factory in the comix full of lung butter she would only have had one kid...she wouldve had a nice dinner,for dessert a belly full of lead,her 15 minutes of fame and a nice funeral topped off with a nice long dirt nap...Wonder if Robert is on the giving or recieving end of Asstro~Glide...

it's a table not frames. hey cheat, what you think of my cartoon?

Might be handy to have sum visual aides if ya want the class's attention...start the young ones out on this...
http://www.unclemelon.com/kobe_dating.html and later on they'll be ready for this...
http://www.unclemelon.com/vagina.html
strange how things connect and spiral on this comment page...i happened to find a story link to Robert Blake here too... http://www.unclemelon.com/blake.html

I'll always remember the female apparatus saying, "Do you like my hat?" Still laffing!

especially if its a period. I forgot to include this link with asstro~glide in blue... link

I will rate this one 7 out of 10. Though the one kid in the stroller on the left...looks like a zombie.

I think that the zombie woman is from Oklahoma and is suffering from an extreme form of vitamin and mineral deficiency which causes her to eat plaster off the wall for the calcium content and with the added plus that the paint contains lead and other long-decayed radio-isotopes of plutonium.

Fertnals was cool..maybe that's why shes vitamin deficient...thats her main brand...well no, manufacturin', babies takes all your rescources....and her grocery money...maybe she knows how to make good diaper stew...maybe she should hire a nanny...then one day maybe she wont have to pick her kids up anymore...or serve time...
heres a link with alot of ways her babies might turn out...http://www.dogwatersoup.com/v-twisted.php
maybe they celebrated with spirits before and after each kid was born..
i always thought champagne was a lil more classy than beer for celebrations..i never cared for the taste of champagne...butt the bubbles can be fun

crap this time i forgot the subject AND the link...the mind is always the first to go...http://www.dogwatersoup.com/v-twisted.php

and no it wasnt becoz i was watching a celebration over and over again...maybe its time for me to have another nice big cup of shut the fuck up...

I get Asti for general swillin' bubbly. It's good to add peach juice or pearch schnapps for a Bellini, or if you like apricot brandy add that. They sell tens of millions of bottles of Asti every year, and a bottle is good pretty cold iced. It's technically not champers because it's not made in Champagne. The process of making good champagne is kind of neat; during process just prior to the final bottling, the champagne bottle is inverted and frozen, an ice plug forms in the neck of the bottle along with the yeast bits from the secondary fermentation that gives it the bubbles, then the bottle is opened so that the ice plug pops out, and then final cork. Kids! Don't try this at home!

The infamous Vagina Dentata!

http://www.bloodyfingermail.com/message.php?id=494024

That one was just too good...too damn good...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA...A beaver trap...maybe that doc was takin all the credit for Billy Bob's popularity...

I told you not to stick your finger in there!

OK, screen width should return to normal. If you have a super long web address in your comment, you might want to make it a link from now on, guys.

Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!

Having recently discovered this strange place, I am oddly taken with it and cannot look away.

Old times there are not forgotten
Whippin' slaves and sellin' cotten
Look away, Look away, Look away!
Dixie Land...

Ten un buen pachinko de mayonesa!

... That I'm tired of seeing this, new update! Now!

...you could gouge out your eyeballs, then you wouldn't have to look at it! Post pictures, please.

I'd even pay good money to see that! And if I could heliarc weld your butt shut, I'd throw in an extra ten bucks.

....it's Thursday already...what the hell?

...well, smack my ass, and call me Nancy! We are due an update, huh!?!?

I can only assume The Editors are having a week very similar to my own. Do you know what it's like to be a compsci major during finals week when the entire university computer system is bent over a table and deflowered by this new goddamned worm and its twenty-five brand-new inbred cousins? Do you?!

You weren't there man!

Yeah...I ran into an old fart today, and was talking to him, he says that he does IT, I says that I spend a lot of time on the internet and he says that Oh, NO! he's like MAINFRAMES! and I laid-off about being at the Naval Research Laboratory in the ComSecCompSciDiv on DEC-10 mainframes way back when a mainframe was like the Wreck of the Old 97, because I didn't want to bust his nards too bad. Worms? I got yer worm right here, bootch! I got the FailSafe System written in Fortran IV, which you don't speak Fortran, eh? Byte my COBOL! Anyway, undersea robotics was something in them times, sort of like what would have given Jules Verne a boner, har...

She was comin' 'round the mountain
Doin' 90 miles an hour
When the chain on her bicycle broke
Now she's layin' in the grass
With a sprocket up her ass
And on top of that
Her handlebars are broke

I can't have "broke" twice--one line is supposed to be "and her hit was punctured by a spoke"

I ate the worm!

i posted a comment...and then i saw it and then it disappeared..maybe it's one of thoise flash backs i been waitin for...maybe i drank to mush frum that nice big cup...