By: Dead.deff Indian [2004-05-06]

The Day When The World Capsiz'd



these pieces pose stylistic questions for an editor, but I love them so


Date: Sunday (Somewhere in time, somehow)

A woman and a man enters the room. The man is frustrated about something and the woman is upset for some reason. They're a married, infact they have been married for the last 10 years now, and of course the so called "thing" has been a total disaster.

The woman starts to speak first...
- Honey, what seems to be the trouble, she says.
- Oh nothing at all my dear wife, you fuck, I hate you so damn much right now that I'm gonna... the man doesn't finish his sentence cause he starts to hear something, something that he can't describe yet, but the sound of it is getting more and more loud every second.
- Do you hear that, says the man.
- In fact I do, says the woman and continues, hmmmm, it sounds like someone is playing piano, badly.
- Yep, you are right, and now someone is blowing notes from a large horn, like a viking horn, says the man and sits down to an old wooden chair.
- What the hell is it?, says the wife and sits down, next to her beloved husband.

They both stare at each other, and the woman reaches her hand towards the man's shaking hands. They don't talk. You could not even hear them breathing. The man takes of his shirt and places it in the closet, cause he knows IF he would place it somewhere less suitable place his wife would go berserk, and that is why he probably throws the shirt from the closet into a boiling can in the kitchen.

The music stops as remarkable as it started. The man and the woman start to fight.

- What have I said, screams the woman and pulls off her thin summer dress *whisper* (it's covered with many different formic flowers).

The man suddenly calms down when he seas his wife beautiful naked body and suggests that they should go upstairs and have sex.
Weirdly enough as the situation seems the woman agrees. She stops shouting to her man and jump on to her husband's strong "action hero" typic arms.
They kiss. For a while. The wife starts to giggle and the man carries his wife upstairs to an old, very large bed. The bed is covered with red roses what seems freak the couple out completely.

- Did you put those damn things on our bed. The place thaat is the holiest of the holy in our life.
- Hell no woman, says the man. (Oh by the way. They're both white, not black or something else. White. Even if the man sounds like he could be one.)
- Well Dammit, says the woman.
- Goddamn, says the man.
- Well, I have to do the dishes and clean up your mess, says the woman and starts to put on her sexiest underwear.
- Yeah, I have to do the lawn, says the man with a dark mystic voice. It isn't his voice and the woman has never heard her man sound so sexy.
- OK, I'll come soon over to bring you some limonade, says the woman and starts to feel the same warm feeling she felt on their honeymoon.
- You do that, it's kinda hot out there.

They both go down the stairs. The man goes through the backdoor to backyard. The woman goes in the kitchen wiggling her ass like an A class stripper.
The woman nearly burns her hand cause of the boiling water but then she looks out thru the kitchen window and sees her husband doing the lawn.
This excites her even more and then everything goes blurry.
The man fells down on the hot grass in the backyard and the woman fells on the kitchen floor. *Whisper* (The kitchen floor is kinda cold, ain't it?)

Date: Monday

The man comes home from work and he is pissed off because his expensive new computer on the office blew up for some odd reason, he thinks, or at least he thinks he thinks.
The woman steps in few minutes later and hears her husband loud loud cursing.
She is also pissed off for some odd reason and something seems to trouble her mind.
They both hear the music again. The mysterious sound from no where and yet from everywhere binds them.

- Again the same freaking song, goddamn, says the man.
- Yes what is it, what could it be, says the woman.
- I don't know but it sure does make me wanna do something fun upstairs, says the man and has a insane look in his eyes.
- Yes, actually it does, says the woman even if it's not true. She just wants her husband feel like a loving man. Beautiful thought, the man thinks because he knows what his wife is really thinking.
- Are ya gonna start to nag about some shit again, screams the man suddenly.
- No no, I just wanna erh, I just wanna well you know..., says the wife.

The man freaks out completely and drives with their Dodge to the nearest bar.
The wife starts to cry and she starts to shake asking the basic questions humans usually do at these kinda of circumstances.

Date: Tuesday

The last days have been kinda blurry, the wife thinks when driving back from work. Oddly enough she does not recognise the car she is driving and the landscape seems different somehow, with a way she can't describe.
She comes to their house and enters hoping that her husband would be on a better humour. But the man isn't home. The woman starts to hear the same piano clinging again and she bursts to tears. She walks in to the kitchen and opens the drawer where she keeps her most shiny and nasty looking knives. She places a white something on the kitchen table and goes upstairs. She walks in to the bedroom to find and to put on her wedding dress she used last time, 10 years ago on the happiest day of her life.
She puts the dress on and takes a look in the mirror. She sees her husband in flames and screaming in an extreme pain, goofy enough she can even smell the burning flesh coming outta her husband. Suddenly she starts to laugh and goes down to the kitchen.
She takes the mean looking knife in her hand and decides she is not gonna kill her self today cause she is full of joy. She hasn't felt this good in a long time, and she decides to take off the next day from work and just lie on the enormous bed and read a book.
The man doesn't come home and she is glad he didn't. She closes her eyes and falls in to sleep in a second.

Date: Wednesday

The man steps in to the house, he's breathing heavily and is covered with sweat. He throws his briefcase on the floor and goes to the kitchen to take an beer.
She listens if his wife, which he loves very much, he does but he has just an odd way showing it. Yes I know, he's an idiot but he is perfect for this role.
His wife doesn't come home what makes him sad. He grabs the beer from the table and goes in the living room to watch tv. The tv doesn't make a sound and it won't do nothing.
The man thinks the powercable is not in tatched and places it in to an hole that fits the cables one end to the hole in the wall. Well he doesn't succeed and he gets killed in an great electric shock.

Something appears in the living room. First it's just fog but pretty goddamn amazingly fast the figure starts to get a form. It's a tall handsome man who wears and black suit with style. His burning read eyes gives you a sudden idea that maybe this creature, this thing is not from this world. Nope. It's not, but it starts to laugh and the house explodes in to tiny little pieces.

Date: Thursday

A woman and a man enters the room...


End. Fade out.
Suicide in a wedding dress... [2004-05-07 01:32:00] Hatless Jack
Oh how insufferably poetic. Didn't Virginia Woolf try that? Or was that Wollstonecraft? Help, I've gotten all my histrionic proto-feminist writers all the hell mixed up.
Freaking nazi's [2004-05-07 04:43:00] Antwan
obvoiusly this short piece is very pro-communism.
Great Title! [2004-05-07 05:31:00] Hieronymous Biscuit
And I like the story, written in the odd kind of internal shorthand that many of us use. For some reason, it reminds me of the Bergman film Cries and Whispers, the first of his films that I'd seen that was not in black&white but in color; yet everything was still mostly in black&white except the blood. I like it when the World does things that you normally don't think of it doing.
Commies&Nazis [2004-05-07 06:13:00] Hieronymous Biscuit
I think that Nazis and Commies are sort of antithetical. Under the Nazis, man exploits man; and under the Commies, it's the other way round.
Thanx for the Link Tip... [2004-05-07 07:50:00] perfktMperfktshn
I was gonna ask how to do it..I'm just too damn stubborn...The Day MY World Capsiz'd...my friggin pc done went and crashed...must've been enjoying my self a teeny bit too much on this comment page...from here to eterntity i will only find things the slightest bit amusing and limit my comments...as sure as the temps are rapidly dropping in hell
Thanks, Jim! [2004-05-07 09:08:00] Hieronymous Biscuit
That there Jim is a regular IT Wizard and also does mortgage finance; so if you need any dirty "deeds" done dirt cheap...what I like is that every time there's a real estate finance, usually it will require a deed recertification. At 6 a day and at least $500 per, it can keep you in beer and pretzels. Not to mention the sausage. The commercial property usually wants an ALTA survey, and those take longer, but follow a menu.
That's a good idea. [2004-05-07 13:19:00] Hatless Jack
I'm going to write myself one of them there relationship books and rake in some of that sweet, sweet self-help money

Chapter One:
All marital arguments must be conducted in the nude.

...

Except marital arguments about sex. Those must be conducted in the THUNDERDOME!


Well, it's a work in progress at any rate.
TeeVee Show! [2004-05-07 17:43:00] Hieronymous Biscuit
I much rather see nekkid arguments than Dr. Phil! Maybe they could have boffer bats, too. Yeah, nekkid arguments with boffer bats.
Another Possible TV Show [2004-05-08 06:12:00] Hieronymous Biscuit
"Transvestites on Roller-Skates!" It could be a half-hour roller-derby quiz show; the contestants would grab a question as they circle the steeply-banked track, and they would answer the quiz questions as they circled on the next lap; random cat-fights would provide added interest.
You sure it's not too highbrow for American audiences? [2004-05-08 17:37:00] Hatless Jack
Let's say we get two-hundred chimpanzees, break them into two separate armies, give each of them a knife, train them to hunt and fight in teams, jack them up on steroids and testosterone, and then release them on opposite ends of a deserted pacific island. Now, I know what your saying: "But Hatless Jack, where's the drama, where's the human interest?" That's the genius part. After the chimp armies have established their territories we take a condemned convict and drop him off on one part of the island with a map, a bag of platinum, a machete, and a pistol with just one clip of ammo.

It's sort of "The Most Dangerous Game" meets "The Running Man" meets well... an angry knife wielding chimpanzee army. We'll call it Ape Island and get Jane Goodall to commentate on the proceedings.
Baboons! [2004-05-08 18:27:00] Hieronymous Biscuit
Baboons are natural pack hunters and have big canine fangs!
Just as long as it's some form of simian army. [2004-05-08 19:12:00] Hatless Jack
There aren't nearly enough monkeys on the television these days.
Chimps [2004-05-08 20:03:00] Hieronymous Biscuit
I like the film of a chimp washing a cat. I'd watch Lancelot Link if they ran it again! Yay, Marta Hairi!
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