Zirealism

toon # 107 has got to be your all-time personal best!

Okay, I've come to terms with Aloe Vera being in soaps, shampoos, sun block, sunburn treatment lotions, regular lotions, the whole range of topical ointments that you're normally dissuaded from eating by society and assorted healthcare professionals, but now I have a container of "Whole Leaf Aloe Vera Gel" that's telling me to drink it. Normally I'm all for drinking random shit, possibly mixing it with one of the many forms of alcohol, but when I flipped the bottle to see the nutritional facts I couldn't help but notice they seemed rather proud that there was "NO WATER ADDED". HUZZAH! Lack of water is always something I'm looking for in a beverage. "Diet coke: no water added!"

Right. I forgot where I was going with this. To be honest, I left and started mixing the green crap with vodka back when I mentioned mixing this green crap with alcohol, and right now I'm more concerned with whether it really is meant to be edible or if I just imagined that part. I'm probably drinking sun block mixed with vodka. Tastes good, though. Like antifreeze.

I should probably go call poison control now.

i think scottie beamed everybody up...i'll take my beam straight wiff no chaser....

will make u stronger and sumtimes 10 ft tall and bullet proof....most of the things ya know will kill ya sumbody cleared the way for an d sum people still do it anyway...i saw a thing ona documentary where in this one cuntry they drink this alcohol made with a poisonous insect...they kinda play russian roulette with it ..they never know if its gonna kill em...oh well just wakin up is like playin roulette...oh and to all the ones who take my place in death.....that i may see another sunrise thank you

There is a plant related to aloe but smaller, it's known as a "woman's plant" and they put it over doorways in Mexico. The nopal is good to eat cut into strips and fried. The Japanese like nopales and import about 200 tons a year! Tequila, Jalisco is worth a visit for the tequila and the burros hauling loads of agave from the fields; the big agave with the spines cut off look like giant blue pineapples loaded six or so onto the stoic burros. Pulque is the traditional Indian drink like cider made from the cactus, it's like drinking aloe; good along with tequila. Pulque lines your stomach so that you can eat jalapeos.

Anyhow, drinking pulque is what I imagine it would be like to drink aloe.

I had no idea, but our last Zirealism is #106. Until we figure it out, enjoy this cheese sandwich.

There's nothing like a pouty sandwich.

I did try to send that poor magician along. I am going to send several Zirealisms all at once and end this terrible drought. Give me a minute. But grilled cheese is nice.

Drought Fishing in America is fun. I go fishing for rutabagas, and use parsley for bait. Or sometimes I fish for sea monkeys, and use tiny little bananas for bait.

Ah, SUPERPOKER 2050. Good times. By the time we added the sixth deck and started recalculating the probability for all the various hands we just gave up and started playing Call of Cthulhu instead. We already had the calculators out anyway, and it was just easier arguing about the sanity rules than arguing about the rules for the game we were making up as we went along. Then came the REIN OF MAGIC THE GATHERING.

Say, have you got any more of that antifreeze?

Goddamnit! I told those poison control people to tell you that I'd decided that my new aloe vera gel drink was more like mixing vodka with instant hand sanitizer than it was like mixing vodka with antifreeze. I guess they didn't deliver my message because they were too busy telling me to mix up an ipecac martini.

That has to be the most disgusting grilled cheese sandwich I've ever seen.