Lord Cheeses

I was asleep in bed, then I woke up. Someone was in my room. It was too dark to see, so I turned on my reading light. Once my eyes adjusted, I saw a glowing figure over by one of my bookcases.

It was the bookcase where I keep all my funny religion books, mostly Christian ones at the moment. The figure was looking through my Jack T. Chick comics. He turned towards me and suddenly, I knew who it was. It was Jesus!

I could tell because he was wearing a robe, glowing, and hovering about three inches off the floor. He had the wounds, but they weren't terribly messy or bleeding on the floor. They just looked irritated. He had stringy dishwater blonde hair and a scraggly beard. He also looked a little overweight for Jesus. Then I realized he wasn't Jesus, he was my pal Sean.

He was still glowing and everything.

I asked him what he was doing in my bedroom. He said he had something important to tell me. He spoke:

"I speak not only of lead transmuted into gold or oxygen to mercury. That will come in time. I refer to a process both more broad and more specific; say, the phone booth translated to CHEESE."