By: Annna
[1970-01-01]
I Hate Jerry Harrison
Goddam that Jerry Harrison
I hate Jerry Harrison, the musician best known as the guitarist and keyboard player for the Talking Heads.
This is where I should detail my argument against him, but I'm afraid I don't have a good reason. I don't think I've ever heard him speak, or heard evil showbiz gossip about him. He wasn't even in the Tom Tom Club, whose music I dislike because it annoys me and gets stuck in my head, occupying the part of my consciousness that
should be playing "Love Shack" 24-7. He was in The Heads, but I thought The Heads were okay-tapioca. Heck, I have one of Mr. Harrison's post-Talking Heads solo albums and I occasionally listen to it.
Musically, he's fine. But just
look at the guy. He looks so goddamn smug...I swear I just want to slap him.
LOOK AT THAT! He looks like a girl! Like a girl who'd sit behind you and snap her gum all through class, but her boyfriend is the captain of the football team so you can't suggest that she move her watermelon-scented kisser somewhere else.
Oh, he thinks he's so hot. That's what he looks like in most of the Talking Heads group pictures -- the rest of the band looks bored or nervous or distracted, Chris might look goofy and David might look insane, but Jerry looks like he sneaked off to the bathroom and primped for a while, so he
knows he's lookin' fine.
Yeah, he thinks,
this photo shoot is gonna get me some action.
I'm telling you, Jerry's just too damn pretty. He's got those big pouty lips -- not scary Jagger lips but kissable supermodel lips -- and either he wears eyeliner or he's got huge eyelashes. He's the sort of androgynous '80s rock and roll freak that'd make a lumberjack doubt his sexuality.
That part of "Wild Wild Life" where Jerry comes out dressed like Prince is probably where the layman can see this most easily. He could
be Prince.
As to the attitude: in "Stop Making Sense" he's not wearing shoes. Dammit, Jerry, the floor could have nails on it or something! Even David Byrne has shoes on, and he's insane! Get sandals, you hippie! But no, he's just smiling that smug little smirk and picking out which audience members he wants the roadies to bring backstage after the show.
Lest you think this is a bizarre 20-year-old non-issue. See, now it's 1999 and Chris looks like a Dutch William Shatner, Tina and Dave look a little tired, and Jerry Harrison is still trying to be cool, dressing all in black and looking self-satisfied.
Dammit. He shouldn't have been in the Talking Heads in the first place. He knew how to play an instrument and look pretty on stage and stuff like that. Dave and Chris and Tina were some ordinary homely geeks who lived in a flat with no toilet. They should have picked a keyboard guy who looked as plain and goofy as they did.
Goddamn that Jerry Harrison.
[pictures appropriated from Frank Veldkamp's
talking-heads.net.]
The word "kissable" gives it all away.
Do you really hate him? I think not. I think he's cool and that he looked cool at TH and the Modern Lovers. He's a great musician, although I don't like any of his solo works.
Anyway, this was fun to read...
Jaime
I think if Jerry had straight hair and he wore it over his right eye, he'd look like Trowa Barton.
First, thanks for the picture credits.
Secondly, I absolutely loved your ukelele songs. If I had a record company, you would have a contract in front of you right now. (damn, now that I think about it, I actually *have* a little record company...) Anyway, I'm sure you don't mind I forward the URL of this page to Mr. Harrison himself. He's got a great sense of humor. Oh, and he *did* wear shoes in "Stop Making Sense" (yellow ones). You need the DVD version to see them though...
As far as bosses go, he's the best I've had in a while. He breaks computer equipment, which is why he needs me (I *fix* computers). Check out the cool company that Jerry built, while you're at it. It's called garageband and he's our token rockstar, which means he is never in the office and when he is here he's usually got a computer for me to fix.
Yes, indeed, you've summarized it! Why didn't he just join that no-goodnik band, Duran Duran! Was he just too scared too compete with Nick, Simon, Andy, and the boys?! If he'd been a real man about it, then he would have left those musically & photogenicly challenged Heads behind! But damn him for joining one of the greatest R&R bands in history, and putting his $.02 in. Oh well...
ROFL...
Y'know, the quiet, brooding guy with the smoldering good looks. At least that's always been my impression. Oh, and he has some pretty damn nifty shoes on in Stop Making Sense. He's this little foot jig with them on during 'Found A Job' that I'm always micmicking. I've heard him say about two words the entire time I've followed the band, so I have no clue what's going on his head.......
And David is definitely insane.
Jesse
Oh, dear, you've found me out. I cannot tell a lie: I bear no ill will towards the esteemed Mr. Harrison.
I didn't know that about the yellow shoes; I suppose that's what comes from watching an ancient rental tape on a 13" TV. I did go see the rerelease, but it came here on Halloween so I was wearing a fairly vision-obscuring zombie outfit and I didn't pick up on that. It's good to hear that Mr. Harrison has the proper attitude towards safety equipment onstage - I knew someone who was acting in an amateur Hamlet, fell to her knees and landed right on an inch-long nail sticking out of the floor. Ick. Nobody wins when you "play games" with theatrical safety!!1!
As for the "smoldering good looks of George Harrison" comment, well, I can see how that descriptor applies to Jerry Harrison, but George Harrison always reminded me of a community college Creative Writing professor.
As you can probably tell from the article number, it's part of what we like to call "the Early Days of thingsihate.org." Although a more accurate description would be "back when we were still trying as hard as we could to find something, anything to rail against, even though we're all pretty easygoing folks who would much rather be eating tapioca and watching Quincy, M.E., but we have this domain name so we'd better get angry about something." For about the next year after this, the archives are just weird dreams I had.
[secret hint! To see the rants webmaster Sean took off the archive menu but left on the site, change the 9 in the url above to a different number. Interestingly enough, the early articles, before we spewed away all our vitriol, still net us the most angry comments.]
Quite funny I should stumble upon this as I'm listening to Jerry's 1988 solo effort "Casual Gods" right this moment. His voice sounds like an American David Bowie's might, I'm noting. And for his looks? Goddamn, I'm sorry, but that man is SEXY. I do agree that he might have resembled a snitty little girl though - it's that cute upturned nose.
What the world needs more of is this type of self-absorbed american
that imagines their every whim to be some how relevant. Your entire
sense of self was percolated within the narrow minded confines
of shopping mall clearance sales and failed high school romances.You look at bitching as a form of free speech, your right, as you proceed
artlessly from one empty room to another waiting for someone to hear
your pedantic speechs and to nod in tacit agreement to your favorite episode of "Friends". Get a life, and leave highly influential artists
alone. Throw away the photos from your failed prom, turn on Oprah and start crying and hugging something immediately...It's your only hope
Judging by the carriage returns, I'm guessing you're going from site to site, pasting that wherever you feel appropriate. And I thought art was dead! But yeah, my opinion means nothing so I'll leave famous people alone, Mr. "creedblows@onebox.com." Hooray for irony!
I've watched Stop Making Sense about 20 times. I thought that Jerry's feet were bare when I first saw it, but he's actually wearing shoes that are some weird flesh tone.
I don't have anything against Jerry (he's produced some good albums since the demise of Talking Heads), but in Stop Making Sense there's a camera shot where he goes off stage to switch guitars. While facing the audience he's smiling, but when he gets out of their view, the smile is gone immediately. It's as though the smile to the audience was fake.
i think it started because rhino/beserkley credited track 8 on their rerelease of Modern Lovers to a donation of jerry harrison. anyway, my sister and i set out to find out more about said jerry; our heretofore underappreciated member of talking heads (i like tom-tom dammit *laughs at self*). but then he crossed over into the land of too cool the more we found out. oh the hardship of such talent *laughs*, such a creatively expansive life, and a degree with honors from harvard in a nifty major. and membership in both early modern lovers and talking heads.
someone had to take him down a notch for that ridiculous pout on the cover of modern lovers; and for that we owe you our petty thanks and hearty laughs, annna.
I work at a restaurant that Jerry frequents. He is humble, generous, friendly and an all around great patron. Your commments have every to do with his appearances and your perceptions and nothing to do with the man, his accomplishments and life.
Don't you have anybody else to beat up on? He's produced albums for No Doubt, The Foo Fighters and Big Head Todd. What have YOU accomplished?
I loved the Dutch William Shatner line.
Otherwise, I don't believe you hate him.
There's so much quality humour in there it's just so hard to believe. Maybe you're a tad jealous?
LOL
Very entertaining read though.
this is great jerry harrison is my dad and i think this is so great becase no 1 understands that he only owns black clothes so hes not trying to be cool he just only wears black and i find this really amusing because u people are so dumb y would u hate mi papa he is so spendid lalalalalalalalala im annoying o and y r u saying he is sexy this is painful he is my dad
you problaby hate your self.. Jerry Harrison is a great musician, his solo cds prove that. Wake up and stop listening to yhe backdoor boys or instick !!!
...I am upset now. Thanks for giving us the tip about the hidden posts, but now I regret my curiosity. #6 is extra, extra fucked up. I'm really scared.
"Yeah, he thinks, this photo shoot is gonna get me some action."
Good for him. To be honest I'd look smug if I was him and I would be thinking the exact same thing!
I was rolling. Thanks very much for that humourous prose. "...looking self-satisfied"!!! -That kills me.
I tried to find a fan site for good ol' Jerry and this is all I find. Oh, and the banner for the immortality rings, had to order those fuckin things. Stupid shit, eat flonase daily you fucking pigstickers!!!
I stayed with Jerry. spent time with him in social situations he's a good guy and your a freak for spending so much thought to rant about a man you don't even know.
My real motive is to get Jerry to look at www.pipersstone.com. By the way this is Pete the eletrical junkie (clean now 7 years) from NJ who helped destroy or build i'm not sure which the Mt Tamalpais house. And oh yeah a friend no doubt of Chicago Johny Angel's
I love jerry harrison he seems like a real sweet guy what do you have against him he is very hot and he is probably not snobby and he is cool so your crazy
oh so you are his son you must be cute toooo if you look like him!!!(if you are a boy!!)
hey those are only some pics. of jerry there are alot more that don't look "preety" maybe you should look into things more before you post them!!(I WILL SAY IT AGAIN HE IS VERY HOT)
hello sombody write a comment
hi the one who said that he/she was jerry harrisons son can they please tell jh that I said hi and I want to be famous lol byebye
always allison
you are mean!
Smug? He looks like an eeeediot.
Jerry produced the band "LIVE"'s huge hit album "throwing copper". When I met him in 94' and starting working for him, he had just finished w/ a band called "the Bogmen" and was in the middle of mixing "verve pipes" debut album. My good friend Johny Angel was hooked up with Jerry's nanny at the time Jennifer,who was also a very close friend of the family, Jennifer and Jerry's wife Carol went way back. Anyway, when I got there everyone was staying on this house boat in Marin.Carol had fronted me some money to get out there from NJ under the pretense that I would do a bunch of electrical work on this crazy old house they had just bought on top of Mt. Tamalpais. The rumors were that Jefferson Airplane,Creedence,and other really famous people had all lived and partied to insane excesses in the house. Do you want more???
LMAO! That was the FUNNIEST thing I've read in a loooong time. BTW - did you know his real name is Jerome?
Goddam that Jerry Harrison... lol. It's so obvious this is fake. (I think David Byrne is cute... not joking.)
