Boozed in Boston

Dear King of Prussia,
 
The holidays are here and it's the season for family. Which raises the question: what booze mixes well with Eggnog? I'd preferably like something that would be improved by being stored surreptitiously at body temperature in a slim hip flask (as is my plan). I'm also looking for something high proof for space concerns but that's secondary to taste. I'm not above drinking Listerine in an emergency and there are sure to be plenty of emergencies this year along with tragedies, comedies, dramas, and possibly a petrarchan sonnet. 

If you knew my family you'd understand.
 
Boozed in Boston.
 
Dear Boozed in Boston,
I just did finish a fine bottle of Meyer's Dark Jamaican Rum, which was also on sale at the local store just for the Holidays, with some good egg nog. It was tastey! I like it with a bit of nutmeg on top. But I have also added Wild Turkey 101 to egg nog with good results. I have had egg nog made in a 20-gal pot, but the store makes some nice select variety egg nog. There is also a Latino variety that one may purchase in stores or make from scratch, Rompopo. There are online recipes for Rompopo, and you may see that it is similar to egg nog. Also, pleas check-out the past feature of egg nog tastings!
 
Dear King of Prussia,
 
I am an atheist and I enjoy the seasonal festivities of the various religions. However, there are many in every philosophical group who do not honor their own religion's precepts and have regressed into the most primitive forms of fetishism. There seems to be an evil inherent in their menacing, leering grins and an implied threat of violence, or at least some sort of curse that will prohibit me from planting crops after the Spring flood, or achieving an erection in the New Year of the Julian calendar. How can I counter the evil intent of these ethnic revelers?
 
Signed,
Flummoxed in Fresno
 
Dear Flummoxed in Fresno,
You can get a specially-made Mojo Bag to counteract the bad juju. But, WARNING! Do not open this Mojo Bag up, as the gris gris will get out and run all over the place, and get some attention perhaps from Legba himself. So, just get the Mojo Bag from the address that I sent to you, and Have a Happy Holiday!

Dear King of Prussia,
 
What should I do for a New Year's resolution this year? I make New Year's resolutions every year, but I never keep them. How can I keep a New Year's resolution?
 
Signed,
Irresolute in Iowa
 
Dear Irresolute in Iowa,
Many people have trouble keeping New Year's resolutions, I think that it's part of their intent to promise things that they have no plan to hold to. Also, it seems easy to swear to repent when you are in the middle of a whopping New Year's day hangover, so maybe the best thing to do is to have another drink, and don't resolve to do or not do anything too big, but something actually achievable. 

Dear King of Prussia, 

I have a sleep condition known as "sleep apnea" that prevents me from breathing properly at night. This in turn interrupts my sleep, leaving me tired all day. Until I correct this situation, I am finding my daily commute to be a great personal danger, since every day I am on the road for two hours and it is very difficult to stay awake all that time. How do I keep from nodding off at the wheel?

Yours ever,
 
Practically Unconscious

Dear PU,
I am aware of sleep apnea, and I know that it can be a serious condition. My first thoughts are to get some truck-driver pills! But also you might consult a sleep clinic. I believe that the Air Force tells the B-1 Bomber pilots not to sleep, but to take little catnaps, or power naps. I think that this is a sound plan. Maybe you are so tired and exhausted that you are not sleeping normally. So, you may have to sneak-up on a good night's sleep. If you practice relaxing and catnapping, perhaps you will find that you are sleeping better. I find that a snack always helps me to sleep. But don't overeat, or eat spicey food, or mustard, because you will dream of the Ghost of Christmas Past.

Are you having a problem?  The King of Prussia can help.  Send questions and requests for advice to kingofprussia@thingsihate.org, and stay tuned to see them answered, here on thingsihate.org!